Forgetting regrets and focusing on resolutions

Written by: 
Helam Lau

Sharing what she regretted most in her life, Line Noue Memea Kruse, a political science professor at BYUH from Laie, said she regretted not yielding to the Lord first in making decisions when she was young.

 

“When I was younger, particularly when I was single, the decisions that I made were not necessarily with eternal eyesight. I saw things as another chapter of life.

 

“If I had gone to the Lord first, instead of relying on my own judgment, I could have found my husband way sooner.

 

“For the feelings that I went through and all the relationships that I have been in, I could have saved myself from so much pain, time, and energy that could have gone to more productive means.”

 

Kruse said she put her regrets not only in the context of relationships she had been in, but also the “singular” pursuit to her career, where no time was spared for the Lord while she was young.

 

“Singularly, what I wanted to do and what I wanted to become was a lawyer,” she said.

 

She shared how determined she used to be when she first attended BYU. “When you become focused on this one thing, there is very little room for anything else like prayers in the most needed time.

 

“I think it could have saved me a lot of trials. It would have kept me on a path that I knew where I was going versus trying to tremble through the consequences and finding the next step.

 

“I am now 40. Now, I would never make the same decision that I did in my twenties. That is only because I have hindsight to look back. I don’t necessarily regret the decision that I made nor challenges I faced. What I would regret are the lost opportunities to learn.”

 

Instead of sitting around and thinking of regrets, Kruse said she looks at her past choices as learning opportunities.

 

Tawnya Briskin, an administrative assistant at the College of Business, Computing and Government, also said people should not focus so much on past regrets.

 

“To me, regrets are a waste of time,” said Briskin. “What most people see as regrets, I tried to not dwell on them and make them a negative part of me. I tried to look at them as lessons learned.”

 

President Uchtdorf also spoke of regrets in a 2012 General Conference address. He shared how a nurse would often ask her patients who prepared to depart this life if they had any regrets.

 

He said most people responded, “‘I wish I had spent more time with the people I love. I wish I had lived up to my potential. I wish I had let myself be happier.”

Date Published: 
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Last Edited: 
Tuesday, December 19, 2017