Married at 19, alumna says world's perspective on young marriages is wrong

Written by: 
Antoniette Yee

Getting married young may be discouraged by society and be daunting to some, but Lucy Henderson, an alumna from Chicago, said getting married at 19 was the best decision she’s ever made.

Henderson said her mother was worried she was going to quit all her dreams. “My mom wasn’t sure if we should get married. She was against it at first, and she didn’t know I was getting married. We just video called her.

“She thought I was following the social Mormon norm to get married as early as possible.”

Henderson said she wasn’t bothered by the idea of following a perceived social norm. However, she said she is bothered society’s view on getting married early. “If you get married and you’re a woman, in the world’s perspective it’s like giving up all your future aspirations. What I was thinking was I found my best friend, the person I want to be with forever.”

It is important to realize your goals in life, do them, and not worry about what the world thinks, she added. “If it feels right, just do it. If you know that you met the right person, the Lord will help you because he loves families.”

Bogan Henderson, Lucy’s husband and an alumnus from Texas, said adjusting to married life was really easy for him. “Deep diving with my love every day is way more enjoyable than the shallow small-talk of dating.”

Figuring out their finances was hard but interesting, said Lucy. “At first we needed to decide if we were going to continue with school all the way.” Lucy said she wanted to be a doctor at that time. They also had to figure out who needed to work the most hours and if they wanted to stay here or move right away. “We decided to stay and finish school,” she continued.

The advantages of being married outweigh the desire to be single, said Lucy. She said, “You have a place to stay when it’s raining. Especially here in BYUH, it sucks to be outside when you’re with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s nice to have a place to stay that is quiet where I can do homework.” She added, “You always have your best friend to talk to.”

Lucy shared how being married made her more responsible. “Before, whon I get my paycheck, I would look for what I want and buy it right away. Now, Bogan and I talk about our budget and set it to food, school, and tithing. We have a little free money. It’s important to buy what we want, but for a $60 snorkel mask, I need to talk to Bogan first so we will be on the same page.”

For Bogan, the advantage of being married is good food. He said, “My wife is also a magnificent cook! I'm eating better than I ever have.” He said an advantage of being married to a 19 year old is “she still has a high metabolism, so we both can eat a ton of tasty food together!”

For couples who are planning to get married soon, Lucy said to focus on the spiritual things. “Prayer and going to the temple are the most helpful things for me. I also watched YouTube videos about getting married. Mormon videos especially helped me. Recognize that making your own family is a very important decision.”

Lucy emphasized the importance of being on the same page when getting married. “You have to make sure you’re a 100 percent because if you’re not, then you need to talk more to that person. Get to know him more,” she added. 

Date Published: 
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Last Edited: 
Wednesday, June 21, 2017