Recently engaged male students say the perfect proposal never goes according to plan

Written by: 
Zeek Cheng

With plans to propose to his then-girlfriend, Filipino student Kyle Batac was caught off guard when he and she had arrived back from lunch in town before all the necessary pieces were ready. “I made silly excuses to stay around campus,” said the graphic design sophomore, explaining how he was trying to buy time for his friends to set up the decorations at his fiancé’s house. Once he escorted her back to her home, the decorations got wet. Nonetheless, he proposed and she said yes.


No matter how well-planned the proposal might be, Batac and other recently engaged BYU-Hawaii male students said there will be unexpected obstacles for guys planning to propose. However, they said the shortcomings don’t take away from the joy of deciding to participate in eternal marriage.


John Dorff, a sophomore from Japan studying hospitality and tourism management, said he also experienced troubles with the venue and weather. “There were a lot of people fishing at the place where I wanted to propose. And I wanted to propose to her during sunset time, but the sun was setting quicker than I expected. Also, the rose petals that I set up were blown everywhere by the wind.”


Despite the imperfections, he proposed and she said yes.


For Bwauro Ioteba, a senior information technology major from Kiribati, the hardest thing about the proposal was asking permission from the parents. He said, “I thought it would be easy, but it became a really formal talk. Her parents asked about my school status and my future plans. Her parents really focused on education. They were happy but didn’t support the idea of marriage.”


Batac also said getting the parents’ approval was a challenge. “They asked me how I was going to provide for their daughter. I forgot everything I had previously prepared to say. So I just decided to answer sincerely, “I love your daughter so much and I can’t imagine life without her. I’m just a student now, but I will follow what the Lord has in place for me.’”  


Deciding to marry

Batac said the determining moment when he knew he wanted to propose to his fiancé was when she told him: “‘You are the person I want to go home with.’” He said, “At that moment, I knew she was the one. No one has ever said something sweet like that to me.”


For Dorff, marriage was something him and his fiancé considered while they were dating. Having a shared vision with his fiancé helped him work towards marriage, he said. “Marriage was what we wanted. We both wanted to date who we wanted to marry.”


Ioteba said he has been home from his mission for three years and thought it was about time for him to get married. “The ultimate goal of dating isn’t just for fun. It’s time to focus on one person and settle down.”


Batac encouraged students who struggle with the decision to marry to follow their heart and not listen to others. “Why date for a long time when you can receive the blessings of marriage early?”


Dorff added, “Think about how you feel about each other. God trusts us to make our own decisions. Who we want to marry is up to us. Proposing is a stretch. It’s not easy, but [it’s] all worth it at the end.”


Ioteba stated, “Everyone will get married eventually. If you both have the same vision, then go ahead and ask her.”

Date Published: 
Saturday, November 18, 2017
Last Edited: 
Saturday, November 18, 2017