By seeking guidance from Heavenly Father and support from people around them, BYU-Hawaii student wives said they don’t regret their decisions and were grateful for the blessings that came from marriage.
“My mom told me that the Lord will guide through comfort, not fear,” said Julianna Celua, a senior from Canada studying social work. “I was really stressed out about the decision between mission and marriage. Just thinking about the mission made me feel scared and nervous. I had more comfort when staying with my husband.”
Receiving guidance from her stake president, Aoi Kamoe, a Japanese alumna in graphic design, said at the time she couldn’t serve a mission due to broken bones from a previous accident. “My stake president asked me if I had a boyfriend and suggested me to perhaps consider marriage. That got me thinking about marriage. My husband [boyfriend at the time] supported me and suggested I should pray about it. That’s when I received my answer.”
Receiving a confirmation during a general conference session, Kate Tekurio, a senior from Oregon studying psychology, said, “Everyone was talking about the awesome revelation about missionary work that they received, but for me, it was about starting a family.”
Caroline Greer, a senior from Utah studying political science, received guidance from her bishop and family. “He told me that I can’t go wrong with either decision, and my family was very supportive. I felt there was not a right answer, but once I made the decision to get married, I felt peace and happiness. I thought I would regret it, but I never did.”
Even hearing all the mission experiences from friends, Greer said she never felt regret.“I felt like it was where I was supposed to be. I know that I made a right choice. We all learn from different experiences. The mission doesn’t necessarily make life better than other things would.”
Kamoe said she occasionally feels regret when hearing mission stories from her friends, but then she thinks about the blessings of family. “If I would have gone on a mission, I wouldn’t have had my son and my family. Having a family is very important. I think this path was better for me.”
Similarly, Celua expressed, “It was a humbling experience. It was hard to tell everyone that I was not going on a mission. I had to trust in Heavenly Father that he had another plan for me. I think the preparation of the mission is the preparation of my marriage.”
Students interviewed said they struggled with the decision between marriage and a mission. Celua suggested, “Remember that it’s a choice. It’s totally a decision between you and Heavenly Father. Your friends and parents can’t decide it for you. Submit yourself to the Lord.”
Mary Anne Taguba, a junior majoring in accounting from the Philippines said she was supposed to serve in the New Zealand Wellington Mission on April 13, 2017, but instead chose to get married after receiving inspiration.
Taguba shared, “He was so persistent. We both fasted ... I was so confused. I asked my siblings for advice. My sister advised me to read my patriarchal blessing, go to the temple, and talk to my bishop. I had really a hard time choosing. I told myself, ‘This is harder than accounting.’ It was really for me to decide.”
She said as she read her patriarchal blessing, she felt choosing to serve a mission or marriage was up to her. “I was reading the scriptures behind the temple one day and read 1 John 4:18: ‘Perfect love casteth out all fear.’ I had a lot of fears before, but I felt the Holy Ghost whispering to me that everything will be all right. I chose marriage over mission because I felt that marriage was the answer .... Heavenly Father answers our prayers. He knows when we feel helpless, he knows our potential.” She said she has never doubted or regretted her decision.
Greer added, “They both are good things. Be open to other possibilities. Don’t think that there is only one way. You might miss out on other opportunities.”
Kamoe said, “Even though you really love a guy, step back and think about the long term. Get to know more about that guy, and don’t get blinded because of love. Don’t get married just because of love, but also don’t go on a mission just because everyone else does. If that guy can wait, go on a mission anyway.”