The space between belonging

For some students who grew up between cultures long before coming to BYUHawaii, home is not always a fixed place. Instead, it shifts with experience, memory and identity. As they navigate life between cultures, many say belonging is less about where they are from and more about the complex space in between.

Revillo, a senior majoring in business management, was born in the Philippines and moved to Utah at age 13. Having lived in both places, she said choosing where to call home has never felt straightforward. I dont really know where I would actually consider home, she said.

Meanwhile, Keliipono Macanas, a senior majoring in elementary education from Kahuku, said Hawaii has always felt like home despite being born in Texas and raised in Hawaii. For him, belonging is closely connected to the islands and the community that raised him.

Leigh Fisher, a junior majoring in general music from Nevada, said she never questioned where she was from while growing up in Sparks. However, experiences outside of Nevada began to challenge how she viewed her identity.

While serving a mission in the Philippines, Fisher said questions about her ethnicity often left her feeling caught between worlds. Although she has Polynesian and Hispanic ancestry, she was raised primarily in American culture. I felt too American to fit in with other Polynesian missionaries and too Polynesian to fully fit in with the Americans. She said she often struggled to answer questions about her culture, from language to traditions because she had not been raised deeply in those practices.

Macanas said questions of identity have followed him as well. Although he has Korean and Filipino ancestry, he said he was not raised deeply within either culture. Instead, he developed a stronger connection to his Hawaiian roots and identifies as Hnai Hawaiianhaving been raised within the Hawaiian community rather than by blood.

Revillo said she experienced a different kind of cultural tension after immigrating to Utah. When people ask where Revillo is from, she said her answer often depends on who is asking. Around other Filipinos, she identifies with both the Philippines and Utah. In Utah, she often simply says she is from Herriman.

Looking back, Revillo said she spent her early years there comparing herself to classmates and wishing she looked more like them instead of embracing her Filipino features. She also finds herself wondering what life would have been like had she grown up in places with stronger Filipino representation, such as Southern California, or remained in the Philippines alongside childhood friends who have maintained the same cultural identity throughout their lives.

Revillo said music remains one of the strongest connections to her Filipino heritage. She credits her mother with encouraging her love of singing and continues to participate in choir, vocal jazz and other musical groups. She said involvement in activities and organizations also helped her feel accepted after moving to Utah. Today, Revillo said she hopes she does not have to choose between the places that shaped her. I would want to associate with Utah, Hawaii and the Philippines if all places would still welcome me with open arms, she said.

For Fisher, belonging has come through friendships, music and faith, she said. She also explained she has learned to embrace her identity without apology, expressing it in subtle ways through her appearance and choosing not to hide what she does and does not know about her culture. Ive also learned to accept that I will be a little different from others who grew up more heavily influenced by other cultures in my blood, she continued.

Macanas said he has reached a similar conclusion. Rather than seeking validation from a single culture, he believes belonging is created through the values people choose to live by and the communities they serve. I belong where I belong, Macanas said. I belong in this world and enjoy its beautiful wonders.