Remembering BYUH student Connie Craig
Connie Craig, a BYU–Hawaii student from Samoa, was remembered as someone with a deep testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Those who spoke at her memorial on April 6 in the Stake Center on campus said despite the pain she was in, she loved God, shared her testimony, and she served those around her. She loved to sing, dance, laugh and help brighten her friends’ day, but the one thing all the speakers said they learned from her was that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. She passed away on March 30, 2023, at 23 years of age.
The battle she fought
Andrew Craig, Connie’s father, spoke at her memorial. He has always been strong through crises, he said, but after his daughter’s death, he struggled for hours until Connie visited him and told him, “Dad, help my friends.”
With those words, he said he was blessed with revelation from Heavenly Father that Connie was okay and that she was, first, God’s daughter. “Heavenly Father then showed me where we could help many of Connie’s friends,” he said. With motivation and renewed strength, he rushed home to tell his wife what had happened and has used that guidance to help others.
During these last days on Earth, opposition will continue to grow, said Andrew Craig during the service for Connie. His family’s goal is to live until the millennium and then there will be peace, he added. Connie Craig’s 7-year-old sister shared her testimony at the funeral, saying, “Whenever I wake up, I see mom and dad crying, and I go and hug them and say what they said to me, ‘You will see Connie again.’”
On his way up to give some remarks at the memorial, BYUH President John S. K. Kauwe gave Andrew Craig a hug. On behalf of all the BYUH Ohana, Kauwe said, he wanted to share that love with the family. Pointing to Alma 7:11, Kauwe said the Savior was able to break the bands of death and He knows how to succor His people. Kealii Haverly, Connie Craig’s YSA stake president in Laie, said at times like this, the followers of Christ do three things: “We mourn, we comfort and we witness.”
Adney Reid, the Craig family’s stake president in Samoa, flew out and spoke at the memorial. A few months ago, Reid’s son broke an arm while playing football, he shared. He got a cast and was flocked by people at school to sign it. He wore that cast like a badge of honor, said Reid. “But when it comes to mental and emotional injuries, we hide and sit in a corner by ourselves,” he said. One reason for that is the way people treat each other, he said.
Followers of Christ have been commanded to mourn with those who mourn, said multiple speakers at the memorial. The loss and pain from losing Connie Craig is normal and it cannot be taken away, said Reid. But the Savior will walk with people and make their burdens a little lighter. Christ’s resurrection made it possible for Connie Craig and her loved ones to be together again, he said. “As we move forward, do not be judgmental. Be empathetic so when we have a mental injury, maybe we can show it and get it signed like a cast,” he said.
Esther Key, a sophomore business management major from Samoa, also spoke at the memorial and said, “Depression is real, and what [Connie] faced was real.” There’s a lot of stigma, she said, that people like herself and Craig are just choosing to be this way. But people are not aware of the battle fought in their heads every single day, she said.
Another friend and roommate, Agalelei Pili, a freshman from Utah studying elementary education, spoke at the memorial. She said on Craig’s last day, Craig told her she was having a bad day and wanted to go to Foodland to get poke. On the walk there, Craig told Pili how much pain she was in that it hurt just walking to the store because she couldn’t walk without getting so much anxiety. “I couldn’t understand her pain. All I could do was listen,” said Pili. Craig told her she just wanted to be herself and be happy, but she couldn’t. When she tried to force a smile, Pili told her, “It’s okay, Connie. You don’t have to smile. It’s okay.”
Pili added in the very act of the Atonement, Jesus asked if there was another way. During trials, it’s okay not to be okay, she said, and it’s okay to ask for a way out. “Sometimes He will take away our trials,” she said. “Sometimes He’ll give us strength to bear them, and sometimes He’ll give us people to be with us when we are in pain. We are here to help bear each other's pain.”
The day after the memorial service, Reid, a licensed clinical social worker, spoke to faculty and staff about mental health in Polynesia. It was a miracle he was able to make it to the funeral, he said. His wife told him he needed to come to Hawaii and kept checking plane tickets until they miraculously found one. He said he spent his week in Laie searching out and helping students from Samoa. Often, because of cultural differences and terminology, Polynesian students do not go to the Counseling Center, he said, and believed the work he did with students was a big reason why he needed to come.
Hana Kuaea, a freshman studying communications from American Samoa, also spoke at the memorial and said she knew Connie in American Samoa before they both came to BYUH for school. She said she has replayed the night Connie died in her head about a hundred times.
Kuaea encouraged people to understand that severe depression involves chemical imbalance in the brain that impairs the way a person thinks, processes emotions and life’s setbacks, she continued. Telling someone with depression to toughen up is just as effective as saying that to someone having a heart attack, she said.
Craig and Kuaea both came to BYUH and to dance at the Polynesian Cultural Center, Kuaea said. After Kuaea made it in, Craig told her, “‘Wait for me. I’ll be there soon.’ I waited,” said Kuaea, “and I will continue to wait until I can dance with her in eternity again.”
Remembering Connie
Amelia Alefosio, a freshman from California majoring in Pacific island studies and one of Craig’s best friends, said at the memorial, Craig had a lot of different sides to her. Alefosio said her favorite sides were: gangster Connie, party Connie, funny Connie and spiritual Connie. “You better have thick skin when gangster Connie was out,” Alefosio said. “She was not afraid to stand up for herself and those she loved,” she added.
Alefosio added Craig danced anywhere they were including the McDonald’s drive-thru, in class, during meals and to loud music while Alefosio was peacefully asleep, she said with a bittersweet smile. Alefosio said she believes Craig is still singing and dancing in the spirit world.
Craig often talked about her mission, said Alefosio, encouraging her as she prepared to serve one as well. There will be times on a mission that are hard, Craig told her, but the hardest times are the most rewarding, Alefosio said Craig told her.
Key shared the Hale 4 elevator will always remind her of Craig. “The day Samoa won the (rugby) game, the Lord humbled us by reminding us it was Sunday and making us stuck in that elevator.”
Before the memorial service, the Samoan Club put together a candle lighting at the Flag Circle on campus. Dressed all in white, students came to honor Connie Craig through song, dance and fire knife. The procession then followed the car carrying Craig across campus and then into the Stake Center.
In a letter to the campus ohana, President Kauwe encouraged people who are needing additional support to contact Counseling Services at (808) 675-3518. Some additional resources the letter listed were: The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988; the National Crisis Text Support: text HOME to 741741; or in an emergency, call 911.
