Writer’s own comments are in italics.
As a child, I knew I was different from my peers, but I never knew why. For the longest time, I couldn’t make sense of why people thought I was “weird” or “special,” or any other questionable labels. It wasn’t until my moth-er told me I had Asperger’s that I would get the answers to the questions I’ve held inside me my whole life. Not only was it a breath of fresh air, but I felt like I was getting to know me—the real me—for the first time.
"Why did I struggle with learning certain topics?” “Why did I have strange social habits?” “Why did I always need an aid or have to see a counselor?” Those questions were once a shadow that followed me until I learned about my condition. I learned that there was nothing wrong with who I was. I learned to embrace my differences and to accept myself. By doing so, I’ve grown to recognize those in my life who truly know and care about me.
My hopes are that people who are like me, can have that same hope and achieve those same goals.
Autism
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) defines the autism spectrum disorder as “characterized by persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction...[and] repetitive patterns of behaviors, interests, or activities.”
Community member Sarah Jones, a stay-at-home mother who resides in Laie with her husband, said she was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome in her late 20s. As a child, Jones said, she felt different and struggled to connect with her peers and teachers. “My fourth-grade teacher told me that I was dumb, and she was very mean to me. ... It seemed I always had a knack of doing something the wrong way or different from them.”
According to the Autism Society website, Asperger’s Syndrome or Disorder was first coined in the 1940s, and used to describe a “milder form of autism,” but both Autistic and Asperger’s Disorder have since been replaced by the blanket term “autism spectrum disorder” in the DSM-5.
Jones shared her challenges of being autistic include having sensory processing issues, meltdowns and struggling to understand social cues. She said she is sensitive to certain textures or tastes that cause her to narrow down which objects or foods she prefers.
“I am picky about food [and] the way it tastes. ... I don’t like most leftovers. Some foods just taste wrong later.” She added understanding materials and styles when buying clothes can help her to feel more comfortable.
Jones said she has meltdowns when she struggles to understand, adapt or when she is feeling overwhelmed in a certain situation. “I [get] overly frustrated. I get angry. I cry. I get fixated on the frustration and need to find an answer ... but I can’t always find a solution.”
She said her husband, Mark Jones, is very understanding and compassionate towards her quirks and differences. He shared, “It’s challenging for sure. ... You have to learn to understand better the way they [people with autism] are seeing things in perspective.”
Understanding and expressing social cues, such as sarcasm, can be difficult for her, Mark Jones shared. He said his wife sometimes makes sarcastic jokes without smiling and maintaining a blank expression. He said he reminds her to smile whenever having a casual conversation to avoid giving off the wrong message or vibe. “I understand her sarcasm because I’ve been married to her long enough.”
Mark Jones explained his wife needed to understand “micro-inequities,” or body language and social cues, that act as signals for how to interact. “The same as with the joke. If you give off the wrong social cues, that this is a sarcastic joke, they get upset, they take it as an insult or as criticism as opposed to a joke or sarcasm.” Understanding his wife means accepting her social awkwardness and accepting who people with autism are, he said.
ADHD
The DSM-5 states, “ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder defined by impairing levels of inattention, disorganization, and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity.”
Camille Condie, a junior from Cedar City, Utah, majoring in marine biology, shared she was diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school. She said her teachers would report she could not sit still in class. “I would run around and never do any of my work because I had the attention span of a fly.”
Having ADHD means having a limited time for focus, said Condie. She said she uses medications to strengthen her focus and attention span. With or without the medication, Condie said she deals with constantly rerouting her focus.
When she does take her medication, Condie explained, she can focus on a particular task more easily. “It takes me about 20 minutes to get back into focus, but if something distracts me again, then I have to do another 20 minutes,” said Condie.
Condie said without her medications, her focus diminishes quicker and easier. “My duration is about 30 minutes of just staying still in one spot, and after that, I get fidgety and want to move.”
Just as completing a task can be difficult, Condie said, so does mustering the motivation to do it. She said it’s almost impossible to finish assignments. “It’s like your will to get it done is not there. So, you have to try to fight yourself to try to get up and do it. ... Your brain just is not computing.”
To combat these habits, Condie shared, she uses the non-distraction room located in the Testing Center. She described it as a small room containing a computer, couch and a chair to use and is only accessible to those who have acquired disability services. She said she has used the room since her freshman year, and it has helped her to minimize any potential distractions.
Dyslexia
The Mayo Clinic website defines dyslexia as “a learning disorder that involves difficulty reading due to problems identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to letters and words (decoding).”
Michael Kraft, a senior from Washington, D.C. majoring in communications, said he always enjoyed reading books as a child, unaware that he had dyslexia. He shared he enjoyed books by Dr. Seuss and the “Magic Tree House” novels, which helped him develop his reading skills.
At first, his mother had him read aloud, Kraft shared, which wasn’t a problem for him. It wasn’t until his mother asked him to read in his head that Kraft said he realized something was off. He said he simply couldn’t process the readings mentally.
Kraft was in eighth grade when he was first diagnosed with dyslexia, he shared. An avid reader, Kraft said his reading deficit seemed normal to him at first. “I didn’t know how to articulate that I was having a problem. I didn't know or understand that other people did not see words the same way I do.”
Kraft shared the irony of being a bookworm and having a reading disability as well. “Even though [reading] was hard for me, I really love stories,” he said. Despite loving stories and reading, Kraft explained words can be a challenge for him.
“The way I describe it, it’s kind of like the lines [of text] shift and get in the wrong order sometimes.” Large amounts of text are difficult to read, shared Kraft. He said some of his professors will ask him to read thick paragraphs, and he’d end up “stumbling over words,” and trying to process each word at a time.
Kraft, who is also an editor for Ke Alaka‘i, shared he also has ADHD, at times making it difficult to focus on the task at hand. He said when he began working at the Ke Alaka’i his ADHD and dyslexia posed challenges.
“Sometimes they [dyslexia and ADHD] would both conflict each other where I’d miss things at work. I’d miss grammar mistakes like misspelled words.” He said he began using the online writing and grammar tool Grammarly to avoid these mistakes.
In high school, Kraft said, he would use a plastic overlay to help him focus on one sentence at a time whenever he read. To help him read online, he shared, he’ll highlight every sentence to differentiate what he has already read.
Classes can be challenging when his classmates don't understand his learning differences, Kraft said. "I don't want to explain this to everybody, but at the same time ... I'm forced to when I'm in an awkward situation."
Personal strengths
Being neurodiverse or autistic meant that I would have certain weaknesses or obstacles. However, I discovered that behind every obstacle I’ve dealt with, there were strengths that manifested and countered those challenges. I enjoyed creating art and writing, which helped me to express myself and my perspective on the world. I didn’t need to see the world the same way as everybody else.
Autism and ADHD are nothing less than my superpowers, said Sarah Jones. “I actually feel like it sets me apart and gives me an advantage over other people.”
Her husband said Sarah Jones is very knowledgeable and has an extensive memory of anything she seeks interest in and learns. “She loves to go in-depth. ... She likes to know the hows and whys, and because of that, she literally becomes an expert of anything she looks into.”
Because of this trait, Sarah Jones said, she has been able to accomplish many feats in her life, including working at Intel for four years as a software/firmware contractor. She shared she helped develop wireless adapters that enable people to share hotspots or Wi-Fi networks with each other. "I have no degree but I love information."
Condie said having ADHD means “I get bored easily and that has led me to do many things in my life.” Like Sarah Jones, Condie shared she was able to accomplish many milestones in her life including attending culinary school, becoming a massage therapist and moving to different states. “I got to keep moving because I can’t do the same thing every single day.”
Condie shared her experience as a factory worker was very monotonous. To combat her boredom, she shared, she would memorize songs and dance to them while working. She said people with ADHD tend to think about multiple things at the same time. “People with ADHD usually have problems with sleeping because their brains don’t shut off.” She shared listening to music while performing tasks, such as driving, helps her to keep her mind busy. “If I don’t, my anxiety goes up, and I’ll over analyze every single thing, and it makes it so much harder for me to drive. I’m just very paranoid.”
Kraft shared, “Because I have dyslexia, it’s forced me to work harder, to become a better reader and writer.” Through his experiences, he said, his neurodiversity increased his confidence in his ability and identity as a writer.
Kraft shared he loves reading the Percy Jackson novels because all of the main characters have ADHD and dyslexia. Although they are fictional superheroes, he shared, he is able to relate to them, since he shares the same struggles.
Spreading awareness
Knowing who my true self has given me confidence and the strength to share my own experiences and what people should know, in hopes of changing the way neurodiverse people are perceived. Unfortunately, people will fear and label what they don’t understand. Neurodiverse individuals deserve to be validated for who they are.
Understanding autism means “loving people who they are, and that people are perfect,” shared Sarah Jones. She expressed the best way to understand people with autism is by accepting them for what makes them unique. “If you know someone who’s weird or different or socially awkward, then you should love them because that’s part of who they are.”
Autism is a spectrum disorder, Sarah Jones explained, meaning “how each individual deals with it and how it displays [for] each individual is so wide and so diverse. There’s no way to tell neurotypical people to put a cookie-cutter stamp on it.”
Sarah Jones shared she embraces her autism as her superpower, and that autism does not need to be cured. She expressed gratitude for Heavenly Father and for being who she is.
Condie also shared it’s important to be patient with people who have ADHD. She said it’s easy for them to be forgetful because of all of the different things they’re thinking about. Also, she said, their hyperactivity, such as being fidgety and constantly afoot, is what helps them to focus better.
People with ADHD, she shared, oftentimes need a “soundboard” or someone they can exchange their opinions and ideas with. For her assignments, she shared, she’ll voice her opinion on anything she’s confused about. “It’s actually very helpful. ... Usually, after I talk to someone, I figure out the problem that I was having, just because having them there helped me to keep my focus on what it was.”
Being fidgety and constantly moving around, Condie said, allows people with ADHD to enhance their concentration on a task. “It’s not because they’re not listening, or because of something around them, it’s usually something in their head.”
Kraft shared having dyslexia is not an “indicator of intelligence or lack of intelligence.” He said people with dyslexia can struggle to perform certain tasks sometimes. “It’s not because they’re any less intelligent, it’s just because their brains are wired differently.”
I learned to realize my own ‘superpowers’ and what it truly means to be neurodivergent. Being different doesn’t mean I’m incapable of having a well-rounded life. It meant that I could use my differences to strengthen myself and those I encounter. To embrace myself is to adore and appreciate the way God had created me.