BYU-Hawaii students and alumni share how the Polynesian Cultural Center has contributed in finding their true love, strengthening their individual relationships and supporting them financially
After marrying their eternal partners, members of the BYU–Hawaii ohana shared their love stories and said the Polynesian Cultural Center played a role in them finding one another. Some of them shared that PCC holds great significance in understanding each other’s cultures, served as an example of how to accept different individuals, and helped them make lifelong memories.
Romance after fireworks
Avae Kairi, a sophomore from Papua New Guinea majoring in social work, said he met his wife, Teihani Gendron, who is now Teihani Kairi, a junior from Marquesas majoring in hospitality and tourism management, at PCC on July 5, 2022. He said he was working in the Hukilau Marketplace under the Operations Department, while his wife worked as a tour guide under the Guest Services Department. He shared it was love at first sight when his wife volunteered to help his department clean up the firework particles from the Fourth of July celebration. Avae Kairi shared that as he admired her social nature, he wanted to approach her but was shy.
However, while heading to have breakfast at his office after cleaning the field, Avae Kairi said Teihani Kairi approached him and started the conversation. After the introduction, Avae Kairi said, “Teihani Kairi shared her knowledge gained from her work and started to explain the purpose of all parts of a coconut tree,” he said. “I wanted to ask her out on a date, but my boss interrupted the conversation and needed me to do something for him right away. So I decided to ask for her Facebook name instead,” said Avae Kairi with a smile.
He recalled after hearing Teihani’s name once, he tried to remember it the whole day by saying it a couple times until he could return home and search for her on Facebook. After Teihani Kairi accepted his friend request, Avae Kairi said he asked her out on a date right away. On their first date, Avae Kairi said he and Teihani Kairi had a realization about the similarities in their upbringings and life path. “I have come to learn that Teihani’s lifestyle in Marquesas was a little similar to mine in PNG. As a result, we both shared interest in the way we were brought up, which was one reason why our interest in knowing each other increased,” he said.
Through experiences of cross-cultural understanding gained from the Center, Avae Kairi said, him and his wife have learned to prioritize effective communication, ensuring that their emotions are conveyed and feelings are open to each other every single time, whether in person or through text. Teihani Kairi shared, “My husband’s humble and patient personality helped us resolve the many challenges we have encountered. He learned the value of treating people with love and respect from his family, which helped our partnership as a Melanesian and Polynesian couple grow and be blessed,” she said.
The Kairis shared since they began dating, they have been committed to learning about each other’s languages and cultures, which they said is one of the main traits gained from working at the Center. Avae Kairi said he is learning Marquesan, and Teihani Kairi is learning Tok Pisin. They shared they enjoy cooking their cultural dishes and sharing it with one another, which was one of the highlights of their dating experience. Avae Kairi said, “With all of these efforts, we hope that our children will come to understand the importance of both cultures.”
In addition, according to Avae Kairi, their relationship with the PCC has helped them gain a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other’s heritage.
“The PCC inspired us to have effective communication, support each other and overcome challenges that arise from misunderstandings,” Avae Kairi said. He advised those who are dating to radiate the spirit both privately and publicly. “It is unfair to be happy, lovely and kind with others, when you and your partner are the total opposite at home,” he said.
The Kairis said their most favorite memory at the Center was their first date, where they enjoyed ice cream and watched “HA: Breath of Life” for the first time. “I was excited when Teihani suggested we attend the night show together because I worked in the Marketplace at night and had never had the chance to do so,” said Avae Kairi.
Avae Kairi and his wife acknowledged there were misunderstandings and mistakes at the beginning of their relationship. According to Avae Kairi, actions such as kissing, holding hands and cuddling are considered private acts in his culture. On the other hand, he said in Teihani Kairi’s culture, these behaviors are acceptable forms of public displays of love and affection.
Connecting through cultural talents
Tunumafono Ferila Soatogi, an English major from Samoa who graduated in 2022, shared, “I met my husband through a mutual friend. We were dating other people at the time and were also dancing in other luaus outside of the PCC.” According to her, MJ, her husband, had already left the PCC but would come in to help train fireknife dancers for the show while she was working as one of the dancers. She shared they didn’t really like each other at first.
“I was a full-time student straight from Samoa trying to make ends meet, and he was a local boy already known around the community. We were just two different individuals with hardly anything in common.” Soatogi also shared during their early days of getting to know each other, they only ever talked if the conversation involved their mutual friend.
Soatogi shared the Center has helped her stay rooted in her cultural values even through her home is miles away. She continued, “The beautiful thing about being Samoan with a strong cultural background is learning to appreciate it when you’re outside of Samoa... Life can be difficult at times, especially being away from home,” she said.
However, she added home can always be where people create something special that gives them a sense of belonging. In keeping this alive in her marriage, Soatogi said, “We allow ourselves to practice culture through our actions, words and how we treat each other.” She shared this has become one of the strengths in her and her husband’s relationship.
Furthermore, she said the Center has helped widen their understanding culturally, spiritually, and mentally. “We have definitely grown since the first time we met, and while in our marriage, we have come to create our traditions by incorporating great values that we’ve learned from both inside and outside of the PCC.” She shared she will continue to build her own legacy through her words and actions, as she and her husband continued to show love for one another.
She added in marriage they are a team. Soatogi said they learn to love, respect, and appreciate each other.
“As we strengthen our bond, we continue to develop attributes that have helped us radiate the spirit of the Lord in our home. We protect each other, and we don’t allow others to dictate our life choices because at the end of the day, it all comes down to us,” she said.
Soatogi shared a few of their memories from the Center. Their marriage proposal took place in the Aotearoa Village. They also support each other when they’re called to serve in the Center, she explained. “Every time my husband is asked to judge, whether it be a PCC Employee Fireknife Competition or the Worldwide Fireknife Comp, I’m right there by his side and vice versa.” Soatogi added, “When I accepted Farrington High School’s offer to teach the cultural club, my husband never questioned my choice and he supported me all the way to the festival.”
Throughout their romantic journey, Soatogi shared there were always challenges and trials as they tried to make their way to perfection.
“Our first year of marriage was challenging. Living with someone who doesn’t do things the same way as you can be tough, especially when you grew up in a home where everything was organized well.” She added, “My husband, on the other hand, was a whole different package. Despite the differences we had, we didn’t allow our upbringing to be the center of something fresh that we were trying to build. The key to a balanced marriage is communication because without it, we would never learn to understand each other.”
Creating a cross-cultural love story
A BYUH alumnus and a former PCC employee, Vaughn Curioso, an alumni from the Philippines who graduated in visual arts, said he participated in the IWORK program and worked at the PCC’s Gateway Buffet. He said he met his wife there, who was Sasha Fabricius at the time.
Curioso said discovering the variations in cultural viewpoints has enhanced his comprehension and perception of others. “As [my wife and I] delved into each other’s lifestyles, it opened up our curiosity about individuals from diverse backgrounds,” he said. In fact, this keen interest extended to their preferences in food, entertainment and music, he said and they wholeheartedly embraced a more diverse perspective in their life together.
“I also believe these aspects have polished us as a couple, making us more attuned to what each of us values and deems significant in our relationship,” said Curioso.
“I vividly recall how relaxed it felt when Sasha and I spent time together, even before we made our relationship official,” he said. He said he didn’t have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t because he could simply be himself.
“We often embarked on late-night adventures to Seven Brothers, making bets and indulging in delicious burgers accompanied by milkshakes,” said Curioso.
One significant aspect that bridged the gap between their cultural backgrounds was their desire to try each other’s cultural foods, he said.
“While it may sound simple, our willingness to savor each other’s culinary traditions played a crucial role in bringing us together. Beyond just food, Vaughan Curioso said their shared values connected them on a profound level. Samoans and Filipinos have many common customs, he shared, and their close-knit family has incorporated a blend of these beliefs and traditions in their own unique way.
“The PCC served as a model for embracing individuals regardless of their origins, and this alone played a significant role in fostering our respect for these distinctions,” he said. In their view, what mattered even more than the differences were the commonalities that bonded them as a couple.” Curioso continued, “Certainly, there are some intriguing preferences among us. Sasha has a fondness for performing Filipino pop tunes and indulging in traditional Filipino cuisine such as adobo, sinigang and more. In contrast, I take pleasure in wearing sulu and Eveni attire, savoring a robust, dark koko Samoa beverage, and relishing baked ulu with luau.”
Curioso shared, “I would say that my experience at the PCC held great significance for me in terms of gaining a deeper understanding of the Samoan culture. It allowed me to appreciate the profound connections my wife has with her homeland and her people.” He shared this was refreshing because it reinforced the idea that life includes more than just careers and spending in a society when many people are just concerned with the competitive desire of achievement and outshining their neighbors. He said he was reminded when people explore their cultural roots, life takes on a deeper, more meaningful quality.
“Having resided in Laie for five years, I’ve had the opportunity to encounter numerous cross-cultural couples,” he said. While each couple is unique, he shared he believes dedicating time to understanding a partner’s cultural nuances can greatly benefit a relationship.
“Additionally, it’s crucial to recognize that we’re all in a continuous learning process, and cultivating an open-minded approach will enhance our capabilities as couples,” he said.
Curioso shared, “It’s completely normal to encounter cultural distinctions, and the adaptations we’ve undergone have required us to appreciate each other’s perspectives in a more culturally sensitive manner.” He continued, “One intriguing observation we made, however, was despite our cultural backgrounds shaping our viewpoints, we also possess deeply personal and subjective ways of perceiving these differences.”
Some of the challenges they encountered were daily, Curioso said, while others pertained to specific social interactions. Surprisingly, he said they realized these challenges were not significantly different from those faced by couples from the same cultural backgrounds. He said their experience at the PCC provided them with a blueprint for addressing these issues.
“We realized that patience and a sincere effort to understand one another are key, and as we invested more in comprehending each other, these divergences in values evolved into meaningful connections,” explained Curioso.