BYU–Hawaii students share their experiences building meaningful friendships with people from diverse backgrounds
Forming friendships at BYU–Hawaii with people from other cultures has shaped their worldview and contributed to their personal growth, said BYUH students.
Kanchana Udomtawee and Kenona Baibatu said communication is key to building friendships across cultures. Baibatu, a freshman majoring in political science from Fiji, said, “Sometimes something is considered okay with my culture but not to [Udomtawee’s]. We understand each other more when we communicate openly about what we do in our cultures.”
Udomtawee, a senior studying elementary education from Thailand, added, “We should be open-minded too. Sometimes, we are tempted to think our culture is the best, but other cultures are just as great. Find ways to learn and enjoy other cultures. When we participate in our friends’ cultures, friendship also improves."
From coworkers to best friends
Baibatu said her friendship with Udomtawee started when they were assigned over a year ago to work together at Hale 10 as resident assistants. “When I was moving in, Udomtawee was cooking spring rolls with her friends and she shared them with me. I could tell right away cooking was her love language,” said Baibatu.
When sharing her first impression of Baibatu and Fijian culture, Udomtawee said, “Baibatu can have fun in any situation… even in bad situations.” She said Fijian culture is different from Thai culture. “Fijians are outgoing and love to party, while Thais tend to be more reserved,” she added. However, she explained both cultures share a value similar to Thailand’s “kham greng jai,” which means being considerate of others.
One interesting thing they said they learned about each other’s cultures was marriage dowry traditions. Baibatu said, “Men in Fiji use whale teeth as dowry. The teeth are worth more than gold.” Udomtawee added, “In Thailand, we just use money, gold, jewelry and property as dowry.”
Udomtawee and Baibatu said their friendship has changed their assumptions about Thai and Fijian cultures. Baibatu said, “I used to think Thais are hard to communicate with. I have had experiences with other Thais where I [would] always have trouble with the language barrier. [But] I don’t face that problem with [Udomtawee].”
Udomtawee said, “I thought Polynesians are loud, tough and the type of people who we shouldn’t mess with. But then the more I spend time with Fijians, I know now they are kind and have big hearts. They are really fun to be around.”
Tips for making diverse friendships
Tzu Shuan Yu, a junior majoring in elementary education from Taiwan, said having roommates and friends from different countries enriched her life. Those friendships “taught me cultural differences can lead to deeper connections,” she said.
It’s interesting to learn something different from people with various backgrounds, she said. Participating in Tahitian dance for a cultural event helped her connect with friends from Tahiti, Yu added. “It was new to me. We don’t have this kind of dance back home. Practicing the dance helped me learn more about Tahitian dance moves… and brought my Tahitian friends and me closer.”
Yu said one of the things she enjoys doing with her friends is trying different foods. “My roommates from the Philippines and friends from Korea and Thailand often shared their traditional dishes with me. It was something I really enjoyed because the food was authentic and they tasted really good,” she explained.
She advised students, “Don’t be afraid to talk to people. Embrace different cultures. Participate in club [activities].”
When it comes to navigating different cultures, she emphasized the importance of acceptance and respect. “I’ve learned people have different ways of doing things, and I try to stay open-minded and respectful,” she shared.
“I also found there are lots of similarities in people and cultures,” she shared. “Although Taiwan and Thailand are different countries,” she said, “we both share a tradition of family-style dining, where multiple dishes are served to be eaten with rice.”
Connecting across cultures in church
Hyun Kim, a junior majoring in computer science from South Korea, said he has been serving in the bishopric of his ward for nine months, most recently as a first counselor. Reflecting on his experience, he shared, “Serving as a bishopric counselor wasn’t easy because English is not my first language. It took me time to get used to it.”
Despite the challenges, Kim emphasized the importance of building relationships with ward members from diverse cultural backgrounds. “If people don’t have friends in the church, it’s hard for them to participate in classes and activities,” he explained. Creating an inclusive environment is key, particularly through activities that help people connect, he shared.
Kim said, “One of the highlights of my service has been observing how mixed-culture couples interact through ministering and activities [in the church].” He explained, “We get to learn about cultures from each other and the countries we come from.”
Through his service, Kim said he feels he has developed the Christlike attribute of charity. “When I learned more about their lives and backgrounds, I have more love and understanding of people,” he shared. “We may come from different cultures and backgrounds, but the culture of Christ can bring us together.” Kim cited Elder William K. Jackson’s talk, “The Culture of Christ,” in which Jackson said, “[The culture of Christ] unites rather than divides. It heals rather than harms.”