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BYUH student chooses to leave delinquent life behind in hopes of breaking his family’s dysfunctional cycle

Man playing the drums softly while smiling at the drum set.
Photo by Photo by Yui Leung

After being on his own since he was a senior in high school, getting involved with gangs and going to jail, Quincy Tahiata said he was able to turn his life around. He served a mission and came to BYU–Hawaii in an effort to build a new life and end the cycle of dysfunction in his family.

“I want my family’s cycle to end with me. I want my future generation to do things and live differently than I did,” said Tahiata, a senior from Australia majoring in Pacific Island Studies and social work. He is getting married on June 28, 2023 to his fiance, Michellae Timata.

Tahiata said his personal journey allows him to assist and understand people’s pain in life. He explained, “If someone I met doesn’t know who they are, I’ll guide them through and give them direction. Self-worth and self-identity are important attributes to move forward in life.”

After several years without purpose, Tahiata said a simple email from his friend who was serving a mission changed his life forever. His friend told him, “You are a child of God, and Heavenly Father loves you.”

Early stages of life

When Tahiata was 7 years old, he said his father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and later passed away when he was in high school. He grew up in both New Zealand and Australia without his parents, Tahiata said, “My dad was sick, and my mom had left when I was young. So, nobody was around to give me directions.”

Tahiata said the lack of attention growing up and the need to support himself led him to criminal and gang activities. He said, “I've been arrested and jailed. I was always fighting and selling illegal drugs to obtain money.”

Man playing the Ukulele
Photo by Photo by Yui Leung

Speaking of involvement in gang activities in Australia, Tahiata said, “I was not the only family member involved in these pursuits, but also two of my brothers have been in jail.” Although he was able to recover and step away from his previous life, Tahiata said leaving behind his family has still been a challenge for him. “I love them. They will always be my mates, but I am now following Heavenly Father’s plan for me.”

Despite his rough journey through life, Tahiata said as a professional dancer, he was privileged to be on contracts with different cultural groups to travel around the world and promote his polynesian culture.

Peniasi Cibaciba, a senior from Samoa majoring in Pacific Island Studies, described Tahiata with the word talented. He shared, “[Tahiata’s] talents as a musician makes a difference in people’s lives. He is often invited to many events on the island. These are opportunities for him to seize.”

Tahiata shared, “One day, I looked back at my life, and I realized it was pointless.” He explained, “What was the point of traveling around the world and coming back home to nothing? I know I deserve better than this. I knew I wanted to change and be successful, and I changed.”

Man enthusiastically playing the drums.
Photo by Photo by Yui Leung

Tahiata added, “I will change for myself but never for anybody. I want people to take me as I am or leave. I want them to embrace my realness and to accept me the way I am.”

Cibaciba said he admired Tahiata’s ability to change and his bravery while staying true to himself. “He is a very straightforward person, and he is very himself. … He is a very good roommate,” Cibaciba said.

A better path

Tahiaita said he joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints at the age of 10. Through the influence of his friend serving a mission and after personal reflection, Tahiata said he seized the opportunity to change his life and serve a mission.

“The process of repentance and the preparation for my mission was challenging and worth it,” said Tahiata. He explained, “I went through extra paperwork because I had so many bad activities before.” After going through the repentance process in June 2016, Tahiata said he was called to serve in New Zealand.

Man playing ukulele and smiling
Photo by Photo by Yui Leung

As a token to begin his new life as a disciple of Christ, Tahiata said he cut off the most significant part of himself to serve the Lord: his long hair. He shared, “I never wanted to cut my hair, but it showed the Lord I was willing to do anything to change and follow him.”

After returning from his mission in 2018, Tahiata expressed gratitude for the eternal perspective he now has and his desire to keep his temple covenants and gospel principles.

A continuing journey

With the desire to receive an education, Tahiata said he was prompted to attend BYUH. He explained, “BYU–Hawaii was free. Scholarships were provided, and this was the start of my life as an educated person with no debt because I was blessed enough to attend a university that provides for its students.”

Man playing ukulele with a big smile.
Photo by Photo by Yui Leung

When he first came to BYUH, Tahiata recounted, “I arrived at [BYUH] with only $80 in my pocket, which I spent to get the TB shot.” Without a doubt, Tahiata said he knew Heavenly Father would provide for him. “I know there’s a reason behind this challenge. I have done my part, and I know Heavenly Father will unexpectedly add more to my efforts,” he added.

Appreciated and recognized by the Cultural Specialists for his talents as a musician, Tahiata said, “The opportunities for multiple jobs were offered to me both at the [Polynesian Cultural Center] and on the island of Oahu. I knew this blessing came from the Lord.”

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