In a social media world with shifting beauty standards and trends, BYU–Hawaii student Hailey Hontanosas said trying to keep up can have a great effect on people’s confidence and self-worth. Although it can be challenging, BYUH students shared how they strive to feel secure and confident in themselves, by keeping a gratitude journal, accomplishing difficult tasks and simply being their true authentic selves no matter what.
Recognize blessings
According to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ article, “7 Ways to Build Self-Confidence Every Day,” self-confidence comes down to being yourself, believing in yourself, staying positive, keeping track of achievements, getting out of your comfort zone, avoiding comparison, and having faith in Jesus Christ.
The article said as people show appreciation for themselves, God’s blessings and take risks, they can become more confident and happy. The article explains, “Pondering your daily successes will give you a sense of self-worth and motivate you to do more. Recognizing God’s blessings will increase your gratitude for life and fill your heart with His love.”
The article says comparison can be harmful. It advises, “Everyone is different. Embrace your unique qualities and potential. Happiness comes from appreciating who you are and who you can become, just like God does.”
Everyone is different. Embrace your unique qualities and potential. Happiness comes from appreciating who you are and who you can become, just like God does.
Cheyenne Palmer, a BYUH alumna from Utah, said keeping a gratitude journal is a source of confidence for her. She said she has kept a gratitude journal since April of 2020, and it has changed her life for the better. Palmer said she has become an advocate for manifesting positivity and confidence into life through practicing gratitude.
Own who you are
For Palmer, confidence is about being her true authentic self. She said she feels most confident when she is being who she really is and surrounded by others who also express their true selves.
Palmer said her former mission companion was a great example of someone who is confident. She said her companion was comfortable with making her needs known and expressing what was important to her.
Hailey Hontanosas, a senior from Kahuku studying exercise and sports science, said she gets her confidence by observing good people in her life, such as her family, friends and members of her church.
She expressed her family and friends are good people who influence her to be a good person. She said she strives to be like the best of the people she knows and to surround herself with people who build her up.
Hontanosas said confidence is feeling free in her own body and owning who she is. She explained, “The feeling of confidence is a feeling of being free. … You’re not concerned with how people are feeling [about you] or perceiving how you look.” Not focusing on the physical aspects of who you are can help you become more confident, she advised.
According to Palmer, self-worth is nothing more than just being herself and living life. She explained her idea of self-worth is “one that includes working on understanding and applying the belief that my worth comes from just existing. I don’t have to do anything or be anything more than I currently am to have worth.”
Hontanosas said her self-worth comes from doing tasks that remind her she is a capable person who can do hard things. She said when she accomplishes a task, her confidence grows as a result.
She added, “External validation is more of a bonus to whatever you have internally. You can be as insecure as ever and be receiving a lot of extra love, but it won’t matter if you don’t have it internally.”
Follow your own music
Palmer explained everyone she meets has their own story she doesn’t know about. “We all have our own music. No one else can hear my music, so no one is expected to, and I don’t have to hear other people’s music. I feel more confident when I’m following my own music,” she said.
I feel more confident when I’m following my own music
Hontanosas explained to maintain self-confidence, it’s all about focusing on her own life and how she can improve it. She said often people can be too focused on the people around them and start to compare themselves to others.
She said, “I always think ‘Why focus on others when you have so many things in front of you to focus on and work on?’ ...When you see people on social media and in real life, they could look good. But that’s their life, and it’s time to go work on yours.”