Tongan students share their journeys living far from their county and the importance of family
“I felt so happy to see my mom. I hugged her, and it was the best feeling in the world to get that warm, loving hug from my mother. A lot has changed in the past four years, and I missed her a lot,” said Quila Neiufi, a sophomore from the main island of Tonga, Tongatapu, studying exercise and sport science.
After Tonga shut its borders in March 2020, the government carefully restricted people who tried to enter the country. According to the South China Morning Post, more than 3,000 Tongans were stuck overseas due to the restriction. Most BYU–Hawaii students from Tonga were included.
Tongan students heard the unexpected news
“I left from Tonga for my mission in California in 2018. The first week before COVID-19 hit, my mission president was about to send us home, but he said, ‘Wait, the border is closed at the moment in Tonga.’ Neiufi continued, "So, right after I finished my mission, I went to my uncle’s house to stay in Utah.”
Lositika Vaka, a senior majoring in mathematics and math education from the mainland of Tonga, said, “I planned my trip to Tonga right before COVID-19 started. But, when COVID-19 started, it messed up plans and also the borders started closing. So I had to move to Utah. I wasn't able to go back to Tonga until they reasonably reopened it in August [2022].”
Missing their home country
“I realized how I really miss being able to walk to my neighbors or friends house and talk or spend time with them because almost the whole village was either our family or close friends,” Neiufi said. He talked about his life in Tonga and said he had a lot of fun with people he grew up with his whole life.
When Vaka heard the news the Tongan government announced close the border, she said the week she left Hawaii was a very sad and stressful week, she said, adding students were nearing their final exams and schoolwork was stressing students out. Then BYUH urged students to return back to their home countries.
Vaka explained her family called two weeks before the border was closed and told her everything was getting worse, and she should come back home. However, she said she didn't think much of it at that time.
Hardest trial
Vaka said she missed her family a lot, but she kept connected with her family by calling them almost every day. She said calling her family helped her very much.
But when the volcanic eruption happened in Tonga in January, all of the internet connections were cut off for two weeks, she explained.
“It was really bad. We didn't know what was going on in Tonga. We just didn't know if something may have happened to my family. The thing that really hit me was that there might be a chance I won't be able to see my family," Vaka explained.
Emotions felt when the border reopened
Vaka right after she heard the border was reopened, she shared, “I was so happy and I started looking at flights.” She said she kept a big secret from her family that she would come back home in the summer.
Neiufi also said he “I felt very happy when I saw the news that the border in Tonga was reopened. But at the same time, I was sad because I couldn't go. I didn't have enough money to get the flight ticket.” He would’ve had to pay for the ticket, which costs around $2,000 by himself without any support from his family, he explained.
However, he said he is planning to go back to Tonga and surprise his family on Christmas. He is budgeting and saving up for it, he explained.
“I’m planning to go straight there and make some Tongan food I miss and, of course, catch up with my family. Oh, I can ask my mom to make Tongan food. She misses cooking for me. I have to make a list of what I want to eat,” Neiufi said with a smile
Back to Tonga
On Aug. 16, 2022, Vaka said she was finally able to travel back to Tonga. She said her family was very different from before she left Tonga in the Spring of 2019.
Two weeks after Vaka left for Hawaii, her youngest sister was born. Not only that, but also her family grew up a lot when some siblings got married and gave birth.
She added, “It was a very emotional experience. Everything has changed a lot. The border closing, the family expanding, the volcanic eruption, and my school life is almost done as well. It was definitely a different type of emotion then.”
Vaka explained she had been talking on the phone to her youngest sister, Rose, who was born after she left Tonga and is now three years old. Nevertheless, she had thought Rose would forget her because Rose might not have identified Vaka on the phone as an actual person.
However, the first day that Vaka got home, Rose actually walked straight to Vaka and wanted to be held by her. “I carried her the whole entire time. She was always stuck by my side every time everywhere.”
Even though Neiufi hasn't returned to his country yet, he said his mother was able to visit him in Hawaii in September. He said, “I cried when I saw her walk out at the airport. But what shocked me the most is that she didn’t realize it was me when she first saw me."
Life lessons learned
Neiufi said, “I learned that we shouldn't take things for granted.” He said he realized how grateful he was to be at home with his parents and siblings, especially when he came back home from being outside or when he was sick or tired.
Neiufi continued, “Because I haven’t been at home for a long time, I've learned that time with family and friends is very important. I want to go and spend time with them. I just realized that when I have the chance to spend time with them, I'll make time for it for most of my life, every moment until death.”
Friends help each other
Neiufi shared he has been homesick and missing family and friends he grew up with in Tonga. At the same time, however, he said, “I have friends here. I went out with my friends here to have fun, such as going hiking or to the beach so that I could ward off my homesickness.”
Vaka also explained how many students at BYUH were experiencing the same thing. “We actually found comfort in each other, so me and my friends would come together.” Spending time with them helped calm her down, she said.