Despite the uncertainty of her future health, a BYUH student rejects defeat, prepares to become a doctor to help others
Mersadies Morgan said she has worked to ensure her illnesses didn’t define and limit her. Diagnosed with scoliosis, or abnormal curvature of the spine, at age 11, she said she was used to pain at a young age.
She shared she also developed dysautonomia, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome and peripheral neuropathy at 18, and said she found it difficult to stand, walk or use her hands. When she couldn’t find a cure, she said she realized she had the option to live off of disability and do nothing with her life.
“But what kind of purpose would that be? I would hate my life not doing anything and feeling like a burden to society. I could never. I’m too much of a strong-willed person. I have to be doing things.”
Having experienced limited help with her medical issues from 30 doctors and different treatment alternatives, Morgan said despite everything, there are still things to look forward to. She said, “I know tomorrow I’m going to wake up in pain, and it’ll be the same next day. And that [is] really hard...I was suicidal the first year. “I remember reading my patriarchal blessing and seeing all the blessings I could have like a family and getting married, and all these things, and I was like, ‘Okay. There’s good things to look forward to even if it’s tough. I mean, everybody’s life is tough.’”
Living with several severe illnesses
Morgan, a senior majoring in biology from Idaho, said since she was diagnosed with severe scoliosis, she has also suffered from other various illnesses. When she was 12 years old, she said she had her first spinal surgery to correct the rapidly progressing scoliosis with traction, fusion and the added support of rods and screws along her spine. She said she also ended up going through two more spinal surgeries in her early teenage years.
At 16, Morgan shared she and her family had the strong impression to go through with an optional surgery to remove her rod and screw hardware in an attempt to improve some pain she was experiencing.
She said the surgeon discovered one of her screws, inserted in her last surgery, was in the wrong spot that it almost went through her vertebral column at T9. It was one of the worst summers, Morgan said, "after removing my hardware, they also had to fix the gaping hole from the misplaced screw. And the cement glue they used did not hold a week later which led to multiple surgeries, a severe spinal leak and months of being bedridden." Finally, she said she has a third surgery to fix the spinal leak with a muscle graft and more medical cement. Morgan said this experience put her "body through much trauma and she lost 16 pounds,” she added.
Consequently, she said she believes her immune system was affected. During her senior year in high school, she said she developed an unexpected illness called dysautonomia. According to the website Cleveland Clinic, people with the illness have malfunctioning autonomic nervous system that can, among other things, cause heart, blood pressure and breathing problems.
Morgan said she was diagnosed by doctors at the University of Utah, but due to it being a new disease, the doctors could only offer her limited help. Morgan said she did her own research and found her condition was most likely caused by previous trauma and hormonal changes around puberty.
After completing a service mission in Idaho Falls and transferring from BYU–Idaho, Morgan shared she knows coming to BYUH was the right decision. “I kind of wanted to get out of Idaho, experience a different culture [with] more diversity. I went to Kauai when I was 4 years old for 6 months, so I’ve always wanted to come back to the islands and make my own memories because I don’t really remember that.”
In Morgan’s first semester at BYUI, she said she had a notetaker because she couldn’t take notes normally due to her neuropathy. “It was so embarrassing because people would look at me like [I’m an] attention seeker.” People don’t see that the “increased use [of hands] makes the pain worse,” she said. Morgan explained if she uses too much of her hands, they feel “like being shocked in different places,” and the migraine that comes afterwards feels like “being stabbed randomly.”
Due to bad circulation and blood pooling, she said her legs turn purple and she gets lightheaded whenever she stops moving. Morgan said she has discovered ways to live with her disorder. One of them is being able to avoid food that could give her migraines which make her neuropathy and dysautonomia worse.
A passion for helping others
Morgan explained when she first developed her condition, male doctors often said she was fine and prescribed her an antidepressants, instead of fully considering her symptoms. She said during that time, she experienced first-hand how the male dominance in the medical field can lead to women's symptoms not taken seriously. Morgan said she wants to change that by becoming a doctor herself. Having found her passion in the medical field, she shared she wants to become a psychiatrist.
Being able to help people spiritually and mentally who are dealing with similar conditions brings her joy because that was how she started her healing, she added. Morgan said she has also been active in school extracurricular activities and has been the president of the Healthcare Professionals Club for the past three semesters.
Her pain doesn't stop her, she shared, from getting her clinical hours at Adventist Health Castle in Kailua and working at the BYUH Museum of Natural History.
Above all, Morgan said having faith in her, Savior, Jesus Christ, has comforted her. She said, "I'm in pain like nobody has experienced, but Christ did. At first, [living with the pain every day] was a really isolating experience, but [after] learning to lean on Him and find purpose in my life, things have been better."
"I think that this is just going to be my trial, at least for a little while. I mean, I know that like Christ will take it away eventually...
"Maybe it won't be in this life. Maybe there won't be medical treatments while I'm on Earth, but like, someday, you know, we'll get a perfect body.