The popularity of online dating has created a setting for true lovers to unite or embarrassing scams to come to light. BYU-Hawaii students and staff shared their experiences, both good and bad, of online dating and warn people to be cautious while seeking relationships online.Online dating sites such as eHarmony and Zoosk seek to find singles their compatible significant other through compatibility tests. But the truthfulness of one’s online profile is anyone’s guess.Daniel “Manu” Danielson, a junior majoring in psychology from Arizona, had an online relationship with a girl through the social media site MySpace. The woman first expressed interest in Danielson and sought him out online. He viewed the pictures on her profile and said, “She was a really cute girl.” However, he wondered what she looked like in real life. The two kept in contact for a while until they decided to meet in person. Soon after the two met, the relationship ended as the online girlfriend looked for Danielson in another town, going so far as to question his parents on his whereabouts, even going into his house to shut off the power.Danielson said he then met another girl online and wanted to see her in person. “This is how much she changed: [I] walked right past her. [I] had no idea it was her,” he said. “I would not do online dating. From the deceit and also because you don’t know what people are like today or just people can be really crazy,” Danielson said. “It’s just a bad idea all around I think.” He continued, “[Online dating] limits person-to-person interaction and that’s never a good thing. But on top of it, it’s a mask to hide who you really are.” He said it is easy for people to falsify information about themselves on profiles whether it is a language they speak or a school they went to or even a place they lived. “It’s a way to sell yourself.”n MTV’s reality TV show “Catfish,” hosts Nev Schulman and Max Joseph brings couples who have interacted strictly online together face to face. The results of such unions prove to be completely opposite of either party’s idea of who the person on the other side of the line is like. “Catfish,” wrote on its website, “These days, messaging on iPhones has replaced the dinner date, and emailing through social media sites often substitutes for face-to-face conversations. The problem with this approach - the guy or girl you’ve fallen for could be lying about who they really are.” Catfish is a slang term that means someone who pretends to be someone they’re not by using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.The most recent example of “catfishing” was the scandal between Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o’s and his online romance with a falsified woman who was actually online hoaxer Ronaiah Tuiasosopo. Tuiasosopo, a 22 year old from Southern California, created the online persona to pursue Te’o through a faux relationship said ultimately he had “fell deeply, romantically in love” with Te’o. “A relationship conducted over the phone and Internet could move at a pace suitable for a shy Mormon young man,” wrote Kelsey Dallas, a student at Yale Divinity School in an article for the Huffington Post. Shanice Hooker, a freshman majoring in accounting from Trinidad and Tobago, said, “I really disagree with online dating. In Manti’s case, he did look at the profile. He wasn’t really deceived in a way, but he was. You should be cautious of who you’re speaking to. Know that person from before and then build that relationship.”Others have found true love through online dating. Elaine Merrill, who works in BYU-Hawaii’s Math Department, said she met her husband online through LDS Friends, a discussion forum where members can meet. Her husband, Kelly Merrill, works in the Entrepreneurial Center. The Merrill’s met each other online in Fall 1998, during the early stages of online dating, not to mention the Internet.“We were an oddity because we met on the Internet,” Merrill said. They met online because Sister Merrill was here in Hawaii and Brother Merrill was busy and lived on the mainland. “There was zero time for him. He went online because he simply did not have the opportunity to get out and date,” Sister Merrill said. “The first time I saw his posting, and it said, ‘Lehi, Utah,’ I laughed out loud and said, ‘If you can’t find someone in Utah, you’ve got a real problem,’” she said jokingly. “We both met each other at Temple Square. Both of us with one kid in tow,” Merrill said. “By spring break [of 1999], he came over to Hawaii and I had a diamond ring on my finger before the end of that, and we were married by June,” she added.Sister Merrill said she made sure there was a safety net. “I didn’t let him pick me up and drive me somewhere. I met him at Temple Square so I could have control over the situation if he turned out to be someone weird,” she said. “You make sure they’re a real person. You do so in a public environment where you have total control over the situation.” “Before you start dating someone, you want to decide what is really important,” Sister Merrill said. “Is it important that they take you to the temple? Is it important that they’re active in the Church? And if those are your standards, don’t date anyone who can’t take you to the temple or isn’t active in the church. Be as picky as you are with online dating as you are with personal dating.”
Writer: Dylan Sage-Wilcox~Multimedia Journalist
