Mataio Brown shares his book about overcoming the stigma of mental health among Polynesian males
People's childhood traumas may not be their fault, but their ability to heal is their own responsibility, said Mataio Brown, the author of “She Is Not Your Rehab.” He and his wife spoke at a gathering on campus in the Heber J. Grant Building during the Winter 2024 Semester. According to sheisnotyourrehab.com, the book is about Brown and his client’s experiences of violence, trauma and healing. The website says, “She is Not Your Rehab demonstrates the power of vulnerability and honesty in addressing pain and shame and shows how anyone can empower themselves by taking responsibility for their own healing.”
“What we do not transform, we will transmit,” said Brown. One word he would use to describe his childhood is “unsafe,” he said. After growing up in a violence-filled household for the first 15 years of his life, he said he is living proof anyone can change their story. “You can dream of being something else and actually become something else,” he added.
Timoci “Timothy” Mataikuku Lasaganiban Kean, a sophomore from Fiji majoring in Pacific Island Studies and political science, said he was able to relate to Brown’s experiences. He said growing up on the islands, he also experienced similar things Brown had, such as violence in the home and having a single mom. “Listening to Matt kind of filled the void inside me that I never knew was there,” he continued.
Kean said there are a lot of negative stigmas going around about Pacific Island men who speak up, but seeing how bravely Brown shared his story allowed him to feel understood. He said it gave him courage to share what he went through. “Speaking up allows you to heal,” he added. Kean said members of the church talk about how the gospel could solve everything most of the time. “But, sometimes, it takes someone like Brown and his wife to speak about [these issues] and help others understand it and heal,” he continued.
Redefining masculinity
Brown touched on the topic of being real, being human and being broken, said Kean. The concept of masculinity in our society is different from Brown’s perspective, he added. “For Brown, masculinity is about being open and being vulnerable,” he continued. Kean said when people are vulnerable, they help other people to be vulnerable themselves. “That’s the beauty of it. Vulnerability is the key,” he continued.
Kean said one of the best ways to be a voice for those who could not voice their own struggles is to be an example. He said one of his favorite scripture verses in the Bible was about being an example of the believers. “Be natural, be true, be you, appreciate that you are not perfect. If you see something that is not right, call it out.” He encouraged people to be a safe space for others to share without the fear of being judged.
“From where I am from in the islands, the fear of being judged is what holds us back,” said Kean. Worrying too much and caring about what other people think about them makes people isolate themselves, he added. “I hope the kids back home that go through violence are able to understand it is okay to talk about their struggles even though the society disagrees,” he continued.
Breaking taboos
Harlie Fa’alogo, a sophomore from Australia majoring in psychology, said it was awesome seeing people from the Pacific speak about a popular topic that is usually considered taboo or stigmatizing. “It gives me faith in us, and for everyone in the room, that we are able to do hard things,” she continued.
Fa’alogo shared why she selected psychology as her major. She said, “I want to talk about things that are looked down upon or swept under the rug.” She also said hearing Brown and his wife speak gave her a boost to talk about uncomfortable things that can be normalized and can change something from bad to good.
Fa’alogo said although she did not have experiences similar to Brown, she was able to connect with him. “I was still affected. It was something that touched me, and it sparked within me to help other people who don’t have a voice,” she continued. She said it does not matter if people can relate to the experiences of others or not. “I think it helps just being able to feel the connections,” she continued.
Fa’alogo said mental health is an issue that is occurring not only in the islands but also around the world. Although she is not affected by it, it’s given her the opportunity to stand up for those who cannot. “Keep checking in on your people and those around you,” she said. To be a voice to the voiceless, Fa’alogo said she can be a good listener, she can also provide comfort and stand up for those who are struggling to stand on their own.