Eternal blessings are more important than worldly ones, said Academic Vice President John Bell at a BYU–Hawaii devotional, where he also spoke about the blessings of meeting his wife on a bus ride to BYU in Provo.
Letting go
Bell started his talk with a message about two scuba divers catching lobsters. As they rose to the surface, he recounted, one diver made it back to the boat, but the other, laden with lobsters, started panicking on the choppy surface.
Rather than let go of the lobsters and inflate his BCD or buoyancy control device, Bell said, the diver lost strength fighting to float and soon drowned. “His life was much more valuable than the lobsters, but he clung to them tightly, even as he lost consciousness.”
He compared the diver’s unwillingness to release the lobsters to clinging on to worldly treasures. By clinging to their lobsters, Bell counseled, students may prevent the blessings of everlasting life from pouring down on them.
The right question
Bell said after he returned from his Church mission, he started the next phase of life at BYU in Provo in 1979. When his mother dropped him off in Southern California to ride a chartered bus to Provo, he shared, she said he might meet his future wife on the bus. Her comment inspired him to talk to girls on the bus, one of whom turned out to be his future wife.
When they met again at college after their first encounter on the bus, he became interested in the woman, Rhonda, However, he said he was nervous because she was always with another guy whenever he saw her in public.
He said their relationship blossomed into something precious and romantic after they went on their first date. He remembered unexpectedly telling her he wanted to be with her forever.
She didn’t say anything in response, he recounted, and felt confused and anxious about what he said. The next night, he shared, he mustered the courage to ask her to marry him, and she said yes, much to his surprise.
Bell shared during their engagement, he asked the Lord if it was the right choice, but he never received an answer. When Rhonda left the temple after receiving her endowment, Bell said, he understood why his prayers went unanswered.
“I failed to have a clear enough spiritual vision to see the lengthy list of miracles that brought her to me. I was asking the wrong question.” Instead of asking if she was right for him, Bell shared, he should have been asking if he was right for her.
Heavenly treasures
Bell stated students will find divine treasure in their efforts to love and serve others in the ways that Christ teaches. “These efforts build relationships that do not go down into the grave like earthly treasures. They become treasures that persist through the eternities,” he said.
He shared it is students’ responsibility to learn how to leave the lobsters and instead concentrate their attention on learning how to serve others, how to serve alongside others and how to contribute righteously to their wellbeing and happiness under the guidance of the Holy Ghost.
Family, he said, is the best place to begin. Bell said there are many ways to discover heavenly treasures, like ministering to neighbors or in unexpected places, but the most important thing is to let go of the lobsters or things of the world.
Students' thoughts
Ellie Toia Valdez, a senior from Phoenix, Arizona, majoring in graphic design, said she was comforted by Bell’s emphasis on eternal things over temporal things. “It’s something I needed to hear because I am a newlywed.”
Valdez explained being married comes with a lot of struggles, and hearing about Bell’s love story helped affirm to her what really matters. She said, “There are more important things than nagging your husband about dishes and laundry. It’s each other.”
Valdez stated she hadn’t felt completely qualified for marriage, but Bell’s talk affirmed her beliefs and the importance to always look out for each other and to put your partner first above all else.
Madison Bird, a senior majoring in business management from Preston, Idaho, shared the lobster tale stood out to her the most. “Bell was right. We should let go of the lobsters. There are so many things that we believe are more important than our lives, and if we don’t let go, they will hold us back,” she said.
In relationships, she urged students to take a step back. “We all need to consider what really matters, and recognizing that is the first step,” Bird said.
“Love can be expressed in a variety of ways, like doing dishes to show our partners that we care,” she said. She also expressed her admiration for Bell’s ability to find love despite his thoughts and emotions.