When her first-born son, Sol, passed away in 2017, BYU–Hawaii alumna Ema Kaka from Hamilton, New Zealand, said she felt a need to keep herself busy to be able to cope with her loss.
She said, “I was tired of everything that had happened. So I decided I want to find a business where I can give back to other women who experienced something similar to what I’ve gone through.”
She explained her business is named after her son, Sol. “He was my first motivation in starting this business, after he passed away,” she said.
Coming from a home where her parents were small business owners, Ema Kaka said her father always taught her to build something for herself. She explained when the opportunity arose, she was able to implement the mindset she grew up with and start her first business.
“It was definitely not easy, and [there were] a lot of ups and downs. Things were changing all the time. I was seeking treatment for my trauma, adjusted to new challenges, and changing in transitions. I had to learn a lot,” she shared.
Creating the idea
When she was in New Zealand visiting her family after her son had just passed away, Ema Kaka said she saw tassel earrings had been growing in popularity and realized she could use the market demand to her advantage. Coming back to Hawaii, she put herself to work researching tassel earring designs that looked simple and elegant, Ema Kaka shared.
She said, “I would make minor tweaks. I would change a color, take inspiration from Pinterest and then change them to how I wanted them.”
Ema Kaka explained her husband Conway Kaka, a BYUH alumnus from Laie, Hawaii, then helped her in building a website and manufacturing a product. Describing himself as her “behind-the-scenes partner,” Conway Kaka said, “I am her No. 1 supporter. Ema would have these great ideas, and I would make it happen. From website designs and setup to finding manufacturers, I was the guy.”
Ema Kaka explained she then used her business as a platform to reach out and spread awareness about fertility and pregnancy issues. In one of her posts on her business Instagram feed, Ema Kaka advocates for infants and pregnancy loss awareness month.
She says in her post, “I just wanted to recognize all the strong women out there that have experienced pain and loss! We are here to support and love you.”
A safe space for similar struggles
Conway Kaka said he admires his wife for making the decision to build her own business.
“Too often, we are told we can’t do things. We aren’t smart enough, rich enough,” he said. “I wanted Ema to know whatever she did, she was strong [enough] and capable enough.”
Supporting his wife in creating a business that brings awareness to similar struggles she experienced with pregnancy and fertility was a “no-brainer,” he said.
Before losing their first son, he said they, as a couple, had no idea how many women experience fertility issues and the struggles that come from losing a child. He said, “This was mostly because people didn’t share it, and who would, right? It’s a pretty personal experience.”
Conway Kaka explained his wife felt prompted to share her experience so other women could have a safe space to share each other’s burdens. “She is able to connect to so many people because she is absolutely real, transparent, and genuine with what she went through.
“Because of this, so many people feel comfortable approaching her about their own experiences. They feel safe, and they know they won’t be judged, pitied, or misunderstood.”
Conway Kaka explained this is the reason this business never really was about the money but about “connecting with others.”
Empowering women
Ema Kaka said from the beginning, her main goal in building the business was to showcase to other women they can be successful in a career and can tell their stories.
She said when she opened her business, other women started reaching out to her and sharing their experiences.
She shared how one of her friends who had experienced a lot of miscarriages and problems with pregnancies reached out to her through her business. Having been in the same situation years earlier, Ema Kaka said she was able to support her in her struggle.
“It wasn’t about telling her what to do, but having an open ear. It was about her knowing someone went through the same thing and it was going to be okay.
“It’s so sad to know other women are going through this, but I’m grateful I have gone through it and can be there for them,” she said.
“That was something I was so proud of at that moment because I was able to create relationships with so many other women who have experienced something similar or the same as I have,” Ema Kaka said.
“The fact that people feel comfortable enough to reach out to me through my business and share those experiences really humbles me because it is such a sacred and personal experience.”
Ema Kaka said she is grateful for being able to develop all these “great and awesome relationships” with so many women and mothers, and she has gained new insights and learned from their experiences as well.
Multitasking as a mother, wife and business owner
Ema Kaka said balancing her life as a mother and having her own business can definitely be a challenge.
With a toddler and a newborn at home, she said she is a big believer in planning, which is why she and her husband sit down each Sunday to plan for the week.
She shared, “This is how I know how much time I have throughout the day to work on my orders, go to the post office or reply to people who e-mail.”
Conway Kaka explained he and his wife have learned to lean on each other and on Heavenly Father and that planning their week helps them to stay on the same page.
“We focus on each other’s strengths rather than weaknesses. We are far from perfect, but we know we are most successful when we rely on each other and Heavenly Father,” he said. “When [God] is in our home, things always seem to run more smoothly.”
Future aspirations
Ema Kaka said she wants to use the money from her business to give to different charities or create a support group or organization where she can give back to mothers experiencing infertility, pregnancy issues or the loss of a baby.
Ema Kaka said sometimes women in difficult situations feel alone because they feel as if sharing their stories might be for the wrong reasons or seem as if they seek attention.
“The whole point of my business is [to help] women understand it is okay to tell your story,” she said. “It is okay to reach out to other people. There are people who understand what you are experiencing.”
Kaleel Spooner, a BYUH alumna from New Zealand who met Ema Kaka as a young woman at a youth conference, said her story has empowered her in her own struggles.
“Ema is someone who carries herself with so much beauty and grace. To suffer that is common to all. To suffer and still keep your composure, your faith and your smile, that is remarkable. That is Ema.”
Spooner explained Ema Kaka is one of the most genuine people she has ever met and is a light for those who walk in the same path as her.
“[She] is creating a space for [women] and couples to have honest yet sensitive conversations. She reminds me there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. She is a great example of someone who turns their experiences into wisdom.”
Ema Kaka’s earrings can be found on Facebook and Instagram @solandtas.