Graduating senior Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau shares how determination and family support can turn tough situations into opportunities for growth
Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau, a graduating senior majoring in TESOL from Samoa, said her journey at BYU–Hawaii was far from easy. Between shedding tears and facing challenges, she said, “From the start of actually being here, it wasn’t an easy journey because something always goes wrong.” She added, “I also believe that everything happens for a reason, and instead of dwelling on setbacks, I see them as opportunities for growth.”
Inspiration and motivation
Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau’s mother is a BYUH alumna, she said, and she came to BYUH with her parents to finish her mother’s education. As a 10-year-old, she said seeing her mother wearing her graduation gown and getting her degree inspired her to become like her one day. “Seeing my mother, radiant in her cap and gown, waving at me from the stage, left an indelible mark. That day I knew I wanted to follow in her footsteps,” said Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau.
She said education was the cornerstone of her family’s values, instilled by her father, even during his battle with illness. “My father never forgets to say this phrase when we have family prayers every day: ‘If you want to eat good things, wear good things or go to places, sharpen your pencil and mind,’” she explained. She noted her father’s words are embedded not only in her mind but also in her heart.
“My mother taught her whole life, and even though she already had a job teaching in Church schools in Samoa, she still wanted to come to BYUH and get her degree,” shared Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau. She said her mother’s willingness to finish her education taught her that no matter the age, it is never too late to go back to school.
“My father’s words and my mother’s willingness to finish school not only inspired me but also motivated me to follow my [mother’s] footsteps and make my father proud,” she said.
Sulu Loreta Ufagalilo, Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau’s mother, said, “While we were at BYUH, she always shared with us, her parents, that she wanted to come back to Hawaii to study at BYUH.” Ufagalilo said seeing her daughter fulfill her dreams and graduate from BYUH makes her whole family proud.
Ufagalilo said, “I wish nothing for her but all the strength to face challenges with confidence along the way and the wisdom to choose her battles carefully. I wish her many adventures on her journey and may she always stop to help someone along the way.”
Overcoming challenges
Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau said when she applied to BYUH, she was already married and had a 1-year-old daughter. She shared, “It was very difficult communicating back and forth with the school and making sure everything was right before we came.” Without the help of many people at BYUH, whether it was the IWORK program, Financial Aid or others, she said she would not be able to complete her application. “That was the first challenge I faced. I almost gave up, but everything worked out,” she said.
The world was then thrown into the midst of a global pandemic. Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau said COVID-19 brought unforeseen trials. “I was unprepared and very anxious about what would happen,” she said. She recounted being transferred to many different jobs after the Polynesian Cultural Center closed and said, “I was doing many jobs on campus, I was painting, sanding, weeding, packing... It was challenging but every hardship was a chance to rise.”
One particular challenge that had an impact on her spiritually, emotionally, mentally and academically was when her father passed away during the COVID-19 lock-down. “COVID-19 was still ongoing and most of the Pacific Island countries were still on lock-down, so I was not able to travel back home. It was very frustrating,” she said. She recalled receiving a phone call from home about her father’s condition and feeling emotionally distraught because she could not be there. Sadly, she said her father passed days later and it took a mental toll on her.
“I was depressed and lost sight of my purpose, not only here at BYUH but also in life,” said Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau. She shared, “I remember writing a long email to IWORK about quitting, but for some reason I could not send it, and it is still in my email drafts. Whenever I feel like giving up, I read that email again and contemplate, but never send it.”
In addition to her various challenges, she said she had to balance her life as a student and mother. “It was not really a challenge having a child and attending school, but it was [hard at] times when I didn’t manage time wisely,” explained Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau. Despite this, she said having her family with her was the best decision she made because they were her biggest support system during her challenges.
Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau explained the decision to bring her family with her wasn’t easy, especially since her husband already had a stable job. However, her husband, Iosefa Tiafau, expressed his unwavering support, emphasizing that the sacrifices made were entirely worthwhile. He said, “We would have family dinners, and sometimes she’d break into tears. Both our daughter and I would give her the warmest hugs…witnessing her struggle was tough, but I am immensely grateful to be by her side, supporting her throughout this journey,” he said.
Encouraging words for students
Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau said her journey was filled with ups and downs but expressed her gratitude towards all the departments at BYUH for helping her in her journey. She said, “BYUH is unlike any other university. When I felt alone, there was always a hand reaching out, be it a bishop, a neighbor or a coworker.”
Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau shared, “I learned so many valuable lessons while attending BYUH but one message that stuck with me was to take risks.” She said the hard trials in her life pulled her into a box. “I am an extrovert, but hard things in life slowly made me an introvert. It felt lonely and boring… I’m grateful for all the professors here at BYUH because they would constantly encourage me to take risks and I did and it made a big difference in my journey,” she said.
Ufagalilo said she’s excited to see what the future holds for her daughter. She encouraged her and others, saying, “No matter which path you choose and no matter how long it takes, always listen to your heart. Hold up your light and don’t be scared to make a big impact. The kind of person you are now and who you’ll become is all about your inner self. With your dreams in your heart guiding you, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.” She expressed her gratitude to Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau for making not only her father but her whole family proud.
Chrysanthemumolive Tiafau encouraged current and future students to seize the opportunities BYUH offers, take risks and know that every tear and sleepless night is a step towards something extraordinary. “I almost gave up on my goal to come to BYUH but here I am, about to walk on the stage my mother walked on.” She expressed her heartfelt gratitude to every person who walked this journey with her and said, “To all the aunties, uncles, co-workers, friends and families I met here at BYUH, fa’afetai fa’afetai lava.” She added, “To my family, thank you for everything.”