BYUH ohana members say self-care activities don’t have to be anything lavish: It can be as short as a 5-minute break
Michael Lois Andreau Polo Eyo, a business management major and freshman from the Philippines, said self-care is like the break after the first quarter of a basketball game. “You have to rest and recharge,” he said.
Eyo said people who do not have enough time for themselves or do not give themselves time tend to have sudden outbursts or breakdowns. We all have a limit, he said. “Self-care is related to our mental health.”
As a husband, father and student who is working at the same time, Eyo said things can be really stressful. Eyo said whenever the stresses of life happen to him, they cause him to struggle with thinking logically and making a decision. “Sometimes, because of the challenges we face in life, we lose track of our goals,” he explained.
Playing basketball is Eyo’s self-care activity, he said, and it has been his self-care activity even before he came to BYU–Hawaii. “Playing basketball is my way of relieving stress,” he said. “It allows me to rest and breathe and forget my problems for a while.” After playing and hanging out with his friends, Eyo said he feels ready to face life again. “I just really need to make time for myself...,” he shared.
Eyo also explained the importance of self-care within his relationship with his wife. “In marriage, there will always be a time when you and your partner will be short-tempered,” he said, but he and his wife try to reduce this by allowing each other to time for their own self-care activities. “My wife loves to read, draw and watch Korean dramas. After doing what she loves, I can see that she feels better,” he said.
“Personally, my wife and I have a strong testimony about self-care,” Eyo shared. He said they have experienced a lot of challenges, and without self-care, they would not have survived. “It made such a huge difference in our family,” he added.
Planning your self-care
Vanessa Malar Latchumanan, an intern from Malaysia and academic trainee at BYUH’s Counseling Services, said to commit to a self-care routine, a person must know what they value and what is important to them. “If you don’t value your time or if you don’t value what it can contribute to your own well-being, then you will never know.”
Latchumanan said understanding one’s self and environment helps balance work, school and personal life. “Knowing what’s good for your spirit, your mind and your body and knowing how your environment affects you will help you know how to manage and balance your life.”
Ke’alohimakamae Aki-Kahawaii, from the Island of Hawai’i another academic trainee at Counseling Services, advised students to plan their self-care. She said planning and scheduling daily self-care activities will lead to a habit of taking care of yourself. “As you continue to plan it in your day, it will become easier, and you will want to prioritize it more,” she said. You can also start adding more to your self-care activities along the way, Aki-Kahawaii explained. “Planning and scheduling your selfcare activities gives you more motivation to keep going because you’re doing it for yourself.”
Practicing Healthy self-care
Latchumanan said a lot of people like to justify the unhealthy parts of their lives as self-care. For example, she said watching movies in moderation is good, but binge-watching movies or series can cause people to lose sleep, damage their brain cells and cause eye soreness. “You are feeding a want, not a need,” she said.
An occasional break down can be good, Latchumanan said, but it shouldn’t become excessive to the point where people are wallowing in their negative thoughts. Aki-Kahawaii explained, “It’s good to feel the emotions.” However, when people have constant negative thoughts, Aki-Kahawaii said they should seek help.
“I think some people who don’t have self-care [actually] do have self-care, they just don’t know it,” Aki-Kahawaii said. She said some people think self-care needs to be something grand, or sometimes others think it is just for women. “Self-care can be as small as a 5-minute break or [as large as] an hour-long run,” she said.
Self-care is not selfish
Latchumanan said a lot of people believe the concept of self-care is selfish. “This is not true,” she said. People are taught to serve all the time, she explained, but they are also taught to love themselves. “You have to serve yourself first before serving others,” she added.
Aki-Kahawaii shared, “What’s amazing about self-care is it’s very personal.” She said each person has their own preferences. “What I’m going to do for my self-care is not what someone else would do.”
“We all have hobbies that interest us,” said Aki-Kahawaii. She said exploring those hobbies can help people discover the right self-care activities for them. “For me, I like to read. That is my biggest hobby,” she said. She explained she feels better every time she reads. “It’s like walking off the world a little bit, and I don’t have to think about anything else except what I am reading.”
Another self-care activity Aki-Kahawaii said she likes is going for a walk. “I put my headphones on, listen to some music or a podcast and walk for 30 minutes or until the podcast ends.”
Latchumanan said she has one self-care activity for each aspect of her life. She explained, “Physically, I exercise and eat healthy foods. Spiritually, I need to remind myself who I am.” She said The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can help remind people of their worth, who they are and what they can become. “That is a good mental selfcare,” she said.
For those who are looking for a self-care activity, Aki-Kahawaii recommended, “Find a hobby and do it more often.” Latchumanan said people can ask for help through prayer and revelation. “[Heavenly Father] will guide you to do something that you actually want to do,” Latchumanan said.
Using resources
Aki-Kahawaii shared, “I think therapy at the Counseling Center could be a form of self-care for some students.” She said sometime people may just need someone they can talk to. “We have amazing counselors who are willing to listen without any judgment,” she said.
Latchumanan said the Counseling Center is a resource students can take advantage of to learn how to manage their emotions and help them discover themselves more. “We’re helping along their journeys,” she said. Counselors at the Center give a lot of reassurance, said Latchumanan. “I think that’s what we all need: Assurance and support.”
Here’s a List of self-care activities to get you started:
1. Get enough sleep.
2. Read a book.
3. Have long showers.
4. Hang out with friends.
5. Get your nails done.
6. Have a massage.
7. Start a skincare routine.
8. Go to the gym.
9. Meditate.
10. Keep a journal.
11. Communicate with family and friends.
12. Go on hikes.
13. Express gratitude.
14. Do a social media fast.
15. Practice breathing exercises.
16. Treat yourself to your favorite food.