College years mark a season of learning, transformation and change, say three BYUH students
Loss, parenthood and grace shaped three BYU–Hawaii students who said their challenges became blessings that made them grow. They said they survived even the most painful periods of their life through relationships rooted in Christlike love and support. “I hope people don’t think of their problems as added burdens to carry in their lives. I hope they remember that God is with them through everything,” said Charity Baptista-Gallano, a senior in hospitality and tourism management from the Philippines.
Overcoming grief
People deal with grief differently, said Baptista-Gallano, describing 2023 as the toughest year of her life. “I lost my dad. He passed away in the middle of the Spring semester, I got married and had a baby a year later, away from and without any guidance from my parents which was hard,” she shared.
Baptista-Gallano said one of the last moments she had with her father before his passing was at the airport. “He always supported my choices. He rarely said he was proud of me out loud, but he showed it through his actions. The last hug we shared brought him to tears and I missed him deeply. That time I realized how much our parents think of us individually and love us individually,” she explained.
Baptista-Gallano emphasized her relationship with God guided her through grief and uncertainty. She recalled the feeling of relief and amazement by the small and intimate support from her friends and family during her wedding the same year. “I see them as people who were sent by Heavenly father to help us through everything before, during and after the wedding,” she added.
Baptista-Gallano said she was given advice to take a break from school but made the decision to continue. “I remember IWORK asked me if I wanted to defer and take a rest for spring and summer, but I decided to continue instead. I’m happy with my choice,” she expressed.
Never alone
Baptista-Gallano recalled the changes she had seen in her life since becoming a parent. “Before, if I wanted to go out in the middle of the night, I could, or if I wanted to go out with friends, I could. But now, everything needs to be scheduled, and you have to think about your child first,” she shared.
Baptista-Gallano shared juggling her time as a mom, a student and a part time employee, helped her grow as a person. “Back home, I would see my sisters having kids, but the difference is they had my mom’s support through it,” she shared. “I didn’t have that so becoming a full-time mom changed me so much, but it was all bearable because of my husband.”
Furthermore, she said her being a full-time mom sinks in when she spends time alone with her baby. “Sometimes it leaves me in awe that I have a child. When I stare at her while she’s playing or when she’s crying, I realize that she’s my greatest blessing,” she added.
Similarly, Nagai Sai “Kiran” Guballa, a senior from India majoring in information technology credits much of his personal growth to his family and faith. He said living away from his family had been difficult but starting his own was rewarding. “We’ve seen responsibility from our parents, how they take care of us,” he explained. “Coming here and taking responsibility for my own family, I’m learning a lot of patience and understanding.”
Guballa said fatherhood and marriage also reshaped his priorities. “Being married for a while now and having kids was a significant shift and it’s not easy being a father,” he explained. “My wife sacrifices the most. She always puts them first before herself and I help and support as well.”
Further, Guballa said distance doesn’t mean so much when there is so much love involved in people. “Even though I am far from my mom, I never forget to call her at least once a day to stay connected,” he added.
Guballa encourages other students to focus on family and small moments of joy amid challenges in life. “Be thankful for your family and focus on small moments of joy and that will help you refocus and remind you of your purpose,” he added.
Blessings in trials
Guballa said faith has been central to his journey. He recalled a time of uncertainty about his major and how prayer and guidance from visiting the temple helped him. “I was faced with, ‘Do I still continue with the major I started with or switch?’ I had my wife’s support, and she was with me as I was going to the temple seeking help. The Holy Ghost helped me stick with the major I came here with,” he explained.
Talalelei “Tala” Voaga, a junior from Samoa double majoring in communication, media and culture, and political science said one of the most valuable lessons she learned came from a General Coreference talk. “The speaker said, “do not neglect people who are willing to support you,” and I think that has been something that kept me going and made me reach out for help especially towards Heavenly Father,” she shared.
Looking back on her previous semesters, Voaga is grateful for the obstacles even during times of depression. “There was a semester where I felt very depressed to the point where I would rather stay home and cry myself to sleep than be with my friends,” she shared. “But looking back it helped me grow as a woman Heavenly Father wants me to be.”
Voaga said her family’s sacrifices, particularly losing her mother at age 12, have shaped her into the woman she is today, “All the challenges I faced in life, from back home helped me become a much better person,” she said.
Voaga said she has seen herself grow daily as she goes through challenges and embraces opportunities. “Growth happens not only in your lowest moments but every day when you step out of your comfort zone,” she said. “It doesn’t happen only when you are at your lowest either; It happens all the time.”
Voaga offered words of encouragement to students who might be struggling:
In your lowest, you are not alone. My favorite scripture is in Jeremiah 29:11 where it says God knows us and loves us. Don’t give up, be thankful for opportunities that come your way and try to give yourself grace more each day.