Students suffering from grief share how they find the light at the end of the tunnel through Christ
Losing a loved one is an experience like no other that no one can prepare for, shared BYUH students, Nieva Zabala and Sophia Sagarese. “Having someone in your life one day and gone the next leaves you feeling more helpless and alone than you could ever imagine,” shared Sagarese, a senior in psychology from Hawaii.
When tragedy strikes
Zabala, a junior in hospitality and tourism management from the Philippines, shared she lost her father earlier this year. When she learned her dad was sick, she was stunned and confused, she said. “I was worried because I didn’t know what to do. I remember thinking in my head: Will I hear my dad’s voice again?” she expressed.
The passing of Zabala’s father left her with feelings of despair, pain, loneliness and confusion, she shared. “I never imagined that this would happen to me. I was hurt, confused and alone. I started doing things on my own just wondering why,” she said.
Similar to Zabala, Sagarese said she recently lost a close friend and shared how she felt shocked and guilty immediately following his passing. “I lost a lot of sleep. I was definitely in shock. It’s interesting because I’d say I was in shock, but at the same time, I felt very, very guilty. And it was to the point where it was kind of taking up all aspects of my mind,” she noted.
The hardest part of having a friend pass is knowing that you won’t see him in this life again, Sagarese said. “It is really hard imagining that I won't have a future with him anymore. It’s hard to imagine that he won’t be with us because we saw him every day all the time. And it’s just hard to picture life without him at that point because he was like our brother,” she said.
Looking to the Lord
Returning to BYUH after Zabala’s father passed was not easy for her, but after watching the 2025 Fall session of the General Conference, she felt inspired to make the return, she shared. “I wanted to go back to the Philippines. But when I listened to the messages, President Oaks mentioned his experience when his dad passed away when he was young. So he kind of reminded me of myself and my family. And then President Oaks said to value our education. So I think one of my questions was answered,” she said.
Zabala said prayer and regular temple worship has become an anchor in her life allowing her to overcome her trials.
I’ve been going to the temple to pray a lot because I feel like I need strength. I think of Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice, because knowing that the Savior already overcame this feeling of grief, I know that everything is going to be okay.
Meanwhile, Sagarese noted that regularly talking about the gospel and her place in it helped soothe the pain she felt after her friend passed. “My grieving turned into hope by having everybody talk about our faith and how we do have an eternity and how we’ll see all of our loved ones again. Gospel topics just became really common in all of our conversations,” She said
The gospel turned into something more real, personal and important following the incident, said Sagarese. “Following his death, the gospel carried me. I began to feel more involved and motivated because of its promises,” she said.
I couldn't imagine having this experience without the gospel in my life.
Sagarese later commented that even though her friend’s early departure left an unfillable hole in her heart, noticing small blessings and miracles every day has reinforced her testimony in Christ and His love. “I think about how much I miss him a lot, and the pain never fully goes away,but I feel as though looking at all the ways the Lord has blessed me through everything each and every day has made my testimony and conviction so much stronger,” she affirmed.
Not forever
Zabala admitted that even now, the pain is still prevalent despite knowing she will see her father again. “Even now, it hurts so bad; I miss him very much—every day I miss him. But I know that one day I will see him again. Thanks to Jesus Christ, I know I will have the opportunity to hug him again,” she said.
Despite the sting, Sagarese declared her faith that she will see her friend again in the next life. “Knowing that there’s a life after this one and that I’ll be able to see my best friend and other loved ones again—that makes life a lot more worth living because they’re there on the other side and they have the truth,” she shared.
Both Zabala and Sagarese emphasized how Christ’s atonement promises a life after death for everyone. The Book of Mormon expands on the idea and promises that death has no power.
He hath risen again, whereby He hath gained the victory over the grave; and also in Him is the sting of death swallowed up.