BYU–Hawaii students say distance has deepened their faith, strengthened communication and redefined how they see love
For some BYU–Hawaii students, distance has become part of their love stories. They said trusting God, staying committed and communicating openly sustains their relationships across thousands of miles.
Stronger with communication
Eric Wong, a senior in communication, media and culture from Hong Kong, said the majority of his three-year relationship has been long-distance. He said he met his girlfriend during New Student Onboarding. After one semester, he said she left to pursue her music career in Los Angeles.
Before she left, Wong said they discussed their worries and hesitations about entering a long-distance relationship. After praying and talking it through, they decided to try. He added that trusting God’s plan played a central role in their decision.
If we don’t try, we don’t know what’s going to happen.
From the beginning, Wong said they realized strong communication would be essential. “You need to be willing to open your mouth and share with your partner, then your partner will understand,” he said. Without physical closeness, they learned to rely on deeper conversation. “Because of the distance, we put in way more effort to learn and get to know each other through our conversations. We cannot do physical closeness, so we need to share our hearts [instead],” he said.
Wong said his faith shapes how he loves. “I love using Jesus Christ as an example and how He understands each of us individually,” he explained. Additionally, trying to look from his girlfriend’s perspective has helped him grow, especially learning to listen instead of immediately trying to fix problems.
Although Wong sometimes wishes he could give her a simple hug instead of looking at a screen, he said the challenge has strengthened their relationship. “In the future, no matter what challenges come up, we will believe we can do it because we have been through something hard already,” he remarked.
Commitment despite distance
Aljassier Zaballa, a junior majoring in accounting from the Philippines, said he has been in a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend for nearly four years. He said three of those years have been spent apart.
Zaballa said transitioning into a long distance was difficult at first. He said losing physical proximity was hard, especially after being able to see other often before. Still, he said commitment makes the distance feel manageable.
As long as you have the commitment, love each other, have honest communication and transparency, it is going to work well.
Zaballa said no one taught him how to navigate a long-distance relationship, but over time he learned what works. “I approach long-distance relationships in a natural way,” he said. “Because I love her, I know she is not going to doubt me or think negatively,” he added.
Zaballa said digital presence plays a major role in maintaining their connection. “We have movie dates, eat together over video call and talk every day,” he said. Sometimes calling his girlfriend and not having a specific topic to talk about is okay, Zaballa said. He said it is nice and it makes him feel better to stay on the video call while they do their own things. “There is a big difference between calling and video calling. Seeing her face makes it more real,” he said.
While he wishes his relationship was not long distance, Zaballa said he sees more opportunities for himself in Hawaii now. What makes it worth it is thinking about the future, he said. “Having a family, having peace together. We always talk about our future, and when I imagine that, I feel like the distance will be all worth it in the end.”
Built on faith
Claire Jake Quinco, a sophomore in accounting from the Philippines, said her long-distance relationship with her boyfriend started only eight days before she left for BYU–Hawaii. She said she was hesitant about getting into a long-distance relationship right before moving away, but her boyfriend suggested they fast about the decision. “That’s something that I was looking for after I served my mission,” Quinco said. “I wanted someone who I could study the scriptures with,” she continued.
With an 18-hour time difference between the Philippines and Hawaii, Quinco said their schedules rarely align. She said when she is going to sleep, he is still awake and when she wakes up, he is just finishing his day. Still, Quinco said they try to call when possible, whether that is praying together in the morning, reading scriptures or calling during breaks. “It’s like coexisting together. I do what I have to do and he does what he has to do,” she said.
Watching General Conference talks together helps nourish their relationship, said Quinco. “Our relationship started on a spiritual foundation, so that is how we also try to keep it nourished,” she said. For holidays and special occasions, Quinco said her boyfriend finds creative ways to show up despite the distance. He coordinates with her roommate or his friends at BYUH to deliver flowers or gifts, she explained.
Quinco said being far away from home can feel overwhelming at times. “It feels like you don’t have the right to be tired because you know everyone is tired,” she said. During those times, Quinco said she turns to her boyfriend. “All of my yaps and my rants, I always debrief with him,” she continued.
Quinco said being in a long-distance relationship taught her that she can commit, even without physical proximity.
I’m grateful for the distance. It made us stronger because we are booking God as the center of our relationship. We are trusting His hands and His will for us.
She said what makes it all worth it is knowing she has someone constant in her life, even across the world. “No matter what happens, I will always have someone to come back to,” she continued.