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More than a gift: How personalized leis celebrate love and culture

Two BYUH alumnae and a student share how personalized lei make them feel loved, blessed and remembered

From traditional flower lei to personalized lei like candy or money lei, people modify lei according to their preferences—whether for themselves or loved ones to show love and real intentions to connect with them.

Cantalise Fereira, Brigham Young University—Hawaii alumna, said it is important to remember that lei is a Polynesian cultural thing and being able to acclimate to the culture and embrace it in appropriate ways, especially living here in Hawaii because individuals cannot just pick and choose what cultural aspect they want to be part of. “So, if you're going to pick one aspect of Hawaiian culture, like wearing lei or giving lei, then you need to respect the whole Hawaiian culture,” she said.

Spam lei and feeling loved

Fereira said she received a spam lei for her graduation last Winter 2025. “My mom made the spam lei for me, which we both decided to buy in Foodland,” she said. Fereira explained they decided to do spam lei because “it is a staple here in Hawaii and a cultural norm as well [to have it].”

“Going to BYUH has been special to me and has always been a big dream of mine, so I wanted to celebrate ending my academic journey in a meaningful way,” Fereira said, “My family and friends gave me leis and the [spam] lei was the one I wanted.”

Fereira added the gift was especially meaningful because it showed how much her mother listened and cared. “The way I feel most loved is when someone listens to what I want and helps me get it,” she said.

Money lei and being creative

Photo provided by Gaby Canite

Gaby Canite, a BYUH Winter 2025 biology graduate, said she received a money lei as a personalized lei for her graduation. “The lei was given by my husband and it was passed down to him by his sister and now, to me,” Canite said it was special to her not only because it was given by her husband but also because it held significance to her heritage. “I’m one-fourth Chinese, and in Chinese culture, giving money during special occasions symbolizes blessings for one’s future.”

She said it became unique to her because it was different from all the leis she received. “The money lei I received was made with so much patience and effort because that person who originally made it folded it into a very good-looking lei,” Canite said.

She said traditional lei and personalized lei are acceptable to her because both are beautiful, and personally made for the person. “I would prefer a personalized lei because it was intimately made for you. It reflects who you are and what you like.”

“We’re still using the resources we have here, so, for me, it is still respecting the boundaries. For example, if we were to make a candy lei, it's because we see candy everywhere,” she said. For Canite, making a lei is doing it out of creativity.

It’s being creative outside the box; you are expanding your resources and your creativity, which made me appreciate the nature and culture of Hawaii.
Gaby Canite

From a Hawaiian perspective

“When you make lei, you’re thinking of the person you’re making it for and you’re putting your heart and intention to it,” said Keilani Cabatu, a sophomore from Maui and Utah double majoring in social work and peacebuilding. She said lei making has become a bigger part of her life and connection to the land. She said it is the significance of lei giving— giving it to the person you love. “It also means embracing the people you’re giving lei to with love,” she added.

Cabatu shared her experience when she graduated high school in Utah and her mother ordered a pikake lei—small, creamy white flowers—for her. “My mother told me the story of how my ancestors were buried with a pikake lei. It made me realize that it’s more than just a flower; it is a symbol of love that made me feel rooted and remembered,” she explained.

“Your intentions to make the lei are what is important,” Cabatu said. She said personalizing a lei does not necessarily disrespect traditions. “I think how you gather your materials sustainably and respectfully, which respects the people and the land is what matters,” she emphasized.

She said with ti leaf, a commonly used plant in lei, individuals are supposed to take out the outer edges of the ti leaf and then go towards the middle, and then do not pick the very middle part because that's the youngest part of the plant. “It hurts me to see people cut it with scissors. I think one thing that would be cool is if the school created a short educational video about how to properly pick ti leaf,” Cabatu explained.

“If a lei is given to show love then that’s what matters. But, if it’s just to show off without actually knowing the significance behind it, then it’s a struggle for me to accept others modifying a lei,” she said. Cabatu said it is a beautiful act when people try to embrace the culture of lei making and giving.

That’s what gives it meaning, by knowing the cultural significance behind the things you do.
Keilani Cabatu

Cabatu said it’s important to help younger generations learn traditional lei making nowadays. “They need to learn how to be intentional with plants and the land,” she said. Cabatu said she has a friend who exemplifies embracing the culture with respect and appreciation. “She does so by learning from people who know how to make lei like Hawaiian or Tahitian people, who know how to do things properly,” she said.