Balancing school and family brings blessings, says two BYUH married couples who are graduating
Juggling the demands of school and raising children are hard tasks but are possible, said Kit-Lee Leduna, a senior majoring in business management from the Philippines. “There have been other student parents before us. If they were able to balance everything, we can too,” he added.
Sacrifices for family
Kit-Lee Leduna said he realized the importance of making sacrifices when coming to BYUH. After the birth of their son, he said they prioritized things from most important to least important. “We had to align our schedules based on his needs. We sacrifice some things in our lives to fulfill our responsibilities as parents,” he added.
Hannz Leduna, a senior majoring in political science, said she had to sacrifice or drop her legal studies certificate for the sake of their son. While pursuing her certificate, she said she was having difficulty balancing homework, reading, and being a wife and a mother. “I was frustrated because I didn’t really have time for my baby. I had to read [and study] for my course [and pass my classes],” she added. Leduna said she regretted dropping her legal studies certificate at first, but doing so made her prioritize her family even more.
She said she loved her teachers because of how understanding they were. “As long as you tell them about your concerns, they help you out in any way they can. Unless you tell them about what you are going through, they can’t help you,” she added.
Hannz Leduna said she used to have a “if I want it, I’ll do everything I want to get it” mentality. Through her experiences at BYUH as a student and a mother, she said she learned growth from leaving behind what she values to pursue something better. “Now, I’m on a journey not to get exactly what I want but to seek experiences and things that help me grow,” she added.
She tends to be assertive when it comes to her beliefs, Hannz Leduna said. “If I know that something is right, I’ll fight for it,” she added. It’s a skill she learned especially from her major, she added.
Kit-Lee Leduna said his accounting classes helped him become more accountable of his life choices. “I was able to assess my actions and decisions in life. I became more conscious [of my choices. [I believe] I will be aware and decisive on making better choices [in the future] because of it,” he added.
Hannz Leduna said rest is what they are both looking forward to when they finish their studies. “We deserve to rest for a while,” she said. “We are excited to go home and spend time with families again,” she added.
Redefining priorities
Originally from Canada, Kade and Talia Nilsson said they met and began dating before their studies led them to BYUH. Their 9-month-old son, Kai, challenged the couple to reevaluate their priorities, said Talia Nilsson, a senior majoring in intercultural peacebuilding.
Before Kai was born, Talia Nilsson said she had a good job and was busy with work and school. “Since having Kai, we really had to slow down and focus on each other a little bit more,” she added. Finding a job with more flexible hours, working fewer hours and praying everything will work out were a few compromises she and her husband had to make.
Kade Nilsson, a senior majoring in marine biology, said he had experienced the demands of balancing his social life, studies and family. “It’s easy to prioritize a task in one category when it might actually fit into multiple ones. Sometimes I focus too much on classes or taking care of Kai, but I also need time for myself,” he explained.
Talia Nilsson said new challenges arose as she tried to do activities she used to do after giving birth. “We used to go out with our friends past 7 p.m., and we could not do that anymore because it was Kai’s bedtime. Driving to town is a struggle because the baby doesn’t like the car seat. We were limited on where we could go,” she explained.
She said having a baby takes more time. “We have to incorporate Kai’s time into ours. With Kade attending 7 p.m. workshops for the Great Ideas competition during Kai’s bedtime,” she said she is left to handle his bedtime alone. She said she felt overwhelmed at first because she was handling the baby herself but she also wanted to support her husband.
Despite the challenges of balancing time and responsibilities, there is so much joy in becoming a parent, she shared.“When Kai smiles or laughs and recognizes you when you walk in the room” she said she knows, “we’re the greatest people in the world for him. And that really helps us get motivated moving forward,” she added.
Kade Nilsson credits his BYUH. experience with fostering a community that feels “like a close-knit family,” where peers and professors offer support and fellowship. “It’s a small campus so your teachers know you personally. We also consider them as family and friends who have been understanding of what we are going through [just like] family,” he added.
He highlighted the importance of the values within the Polynesian culture on the family because it helped shape their own values. “It’s inspiring to see their entire. culture revolves around these ideals and values. It’s been helpful
to grow in this type of environment where Christ is put first,” he added.
Talia Nilsson said prioritizing tithing and attending the temple has helped both of them in so many ways. “We both are not covered by Hukilau or IWORK scholarships. We look at our finances. We are not in debt. We have paid for everything. Prioritizing the Lord first gave us the blessings we needed,” she added.
Talia Nilsson said she feels so proud of the both of them. “We did a lot. Kade switched majors. We went through school without debt.
We had a baby. And [we] found our passions. I am really proud of how we’ve come as a family and our personal development,” she added.
She reflected on wanting to do anthropology first but heard about peacebuilding and the goal of helping communities resolve conflicts to get along. “I was able to work hands-on with my major and be a community specialist. It gave me the practice that I needed,” she added.
Kade Nilsson said he aspires to explore marine biology fieldwork. “We’ve done so many field trips, going in submarines and mountain tops. It gave me all the hands-on stuff I want to do in the future,” he added.