Wedding details come in all shapes and sizes. At BYU-Hawaii, varying traditions are found among married students.“We did the regular stuff you do at weddings, but my husband is Tongan so there was some traditional Tongan dancing,” said Amy Moala, a senior in exercise and sports science from Nevada. Lena Filatova, an undeclared freshman, talked about her home country of Russia sharing some of the marital traditions there. She explained the tradition of kidnapping the bride, where friends of the young couple will take the bride away unawares, demanding a ransom and making the groom find her. It’s all fun and games because when the bride is found, the bride and groom go get a marriage license. Another unique tradition in Russia is that of biting the bread. Before the bride and groom can enter the reception hall, they have to bite the traditional bread (without hands) that had been prepared for them. Whomever takes the bigger bite is said to be the more dominant in the relationship. Filatova also shared the marital practice of the lock (or “jorko,” in Russian). Together, a newlywed couple buys a lock and writes their name on it. “In my hometown there is a bridge for [the couples] to get married and the whole bridge is covered with all these locks. It symbolizes the marriage is going to be forever and you can’t unlock it,” said Filatova. Ethan Tsai, a senior in graphic design from Taiwan, shared some traditions from his recent marriage. One such tradition happens when, before the wedding reception, the groom goes over to the bride’s house to overcome a certain challenge. The bride’s friends ask the groom to complete a challenge, and the groom has to do it to those friends’ expectations. The bride, like the groom, goes over to his house afterward. There, a bucket of water is poured in front of her. Tsai explained, “It’s symbolic of how the girl is married and not ever going to come back.” After this, the couple show their respect and gratitude to both sets of parents by kneeling and bowing their heads. Nowah Afangbedji, a senior biomedical major, shared some of the marriage traditions of his homeland Togo. “My favorite part is usually the engagement or veil part,” he shared.In his tribe, there are usually three parts to marriages. First, you have to knock on the door and the boy comes to say he wants to marry the girl. An appointment is set, which completes the engagement part. One of the girl’s aunties then compiles a list and gives it to the boy of things he needs to get for the dowry. Once everything has been collected, the boy brings it to the family. If everything is there and the family can see that the boy appreciates their daughter, they bring her out along with a couple other girls; the girls are covered from head to toe in a veil with no hints as to who is who, and the boy has to figure out which is the girl he is engaged to. “I haven’t seen anybody mess up before,” Afangbedji laughed. “People could mess up. They will laugh at you and mock you a little bit. But they won’t cancel the marriage.” The third step of the marriage process is the civil marriage, either in a church or located at another sacred site.Uploaded Feb. 12, 2015
Writer: Rachel Reed
