“Optimistic but not naive,” couple shares optimism about long-distance relationship brought on by pandemic

Photo by Hannah Manalang

Coronavirus forces a long-distance relationship on a BYU-Hawaii couple from Australia and Utah, but they say optimism, constant communication, and small reminders help them stay connected.

“Communication in a long-distance relationship is all that you have together,” said Abbey Myers, a freshman from Utah majoring in business management marketing.

Myers said she and her boyfriend, Tui Toa, a sophomore from Australia majoring in information technology, have found ways to communicate remotely through FaceTime, learning guitar together and doing study dates.

Toa said he always tries to make Myers part of his day even outside of their phone calls. He plays songs that remind him of her and messages her when she comes to mind. He said he continues to put forth the effort to communicate because he loves her.

“Part of [it] is not wanting to lose her and stop caring for her… If I [didn’t do] those small things, it would be hard to make it each day and only live off the big interactions that we have,” said Toa.

Photo by courtesy of Abbey Myers and Tui Toa

Myers said she felt she needed to go home, so she bought a plane ticket that would have her leaving in a week and a half. However, after Toa spoke to the IWORK office about his situation, the couple said they learned they would need to say their goodbyes much sooner.

According to Myers, the couple only had a 24-hour notice to say their goodbyes before Toa returned home.

“Tui and I always knew that we wanted to be together, so long-distance really was not a hard choice. I would not be doing this if I was not invested in Tui and did not see this going somewhere in the future,” said Myers.

Toa said that the two are “optimistic but not naive.” He said it was important that the two went into this journey with the attitude to make it work.

Myers said, “There is a lot that can be learned from a long-distance relationship.” She said there is growth that comes and ultimately makes the relationship stronger.

Photo by courtesy of Abbey Myers and Tui Toa

Ann-Elise Lader, a sophomore from Oregon majoring in marine biology, said she thinks Toa and Myers are good together because they understand each other, which is essential in a long-distance relationship.

Lader said the couple uses FaceTime almost every day to help stay connected. She said, “It can be hard not spending time with someone, so I think that’s a big help for them.”

Toa said, “To all of the couples experiencing long-distance, endure! Kia kaha tatou. Meaning, let us be strong and happy.”