Skip to main content

Parents and teachers say at-home learning puts pressure on families and teachers

Green background graphic of two children and a teenager wearing pink/purple shirts sitting on a long brown table looking at their laptops.
Photo by Hannah Manalang

Parents said their children’s homework load has increased, and they don’t have the resources at home for effective learning. Local teachers said it’s difficult to rely on parents to help teach their children without overwhelming families.

Amber Tai Hook, a kindergarten teacher who teaches Hawaiian at Hau’ula Elementary, shared she struggles with feelings of inadequacy. She said, “I would think, ‘Can I do this? Am I equipped to do this?’ I had to bring my curriculum to 18 homes.

“I have told the parents to please give me feedback because I cannot change what I don’t know. We all can improve by giving ourselves and others grace: Not just dwelling on what didn’t work but staying on what works. I hope it helps the parents and children to get through it. I tell the parents, ‘Guys, if you can’t finish the homework, don’t worry.’”

Jennifer Lopes, from Hauula, has four children and said the benefits of distance learning have been the flexibility in their home and being together. She said, “We go to the beach together, and that is something we wouldn’t do on a usual school night.”

Although, she added, the pressure of schoolwork and learning in the home has its struggles. “The hard part is arguing with my kids when we wouldn’t be able to get their assignments done. I don’t like to get frustrated with them, and I don’t want it to hurt our relationship.”

A difficult transition for all 

Tara Lautiki, a sophomore from Washing-ton studying intercultural peacebuilding, said her children are overwhelmed with how long homework takes online. On an average school day, she said her third-grader spends six hours on homework, and while her daughters in high school spend close to nine hours.

She said, “We need to realize times are different at the moment and adjust accordingly. [We can’t] expect the kids to learn how they learn at school to be in the home. It is more distracting at home.”

Lopes added, “My youngest son would rather be home with me, but by far he is having the hardest time. The school work takes him a lot longer at home, so our school day is very long.”

Roxanna Erickson, a Kahuku community member, just moved to Hawaii with her family from Utah, and she said she was not expecting to be teaching their children online. She explained their new home does not have WiFi yet, and they have to use a hotspot from their phones. She is grateful to have those amenities but said she feels for the families who don’t have the resources.

She added, “My fears are, to my children, this is the new normal when this is completely not normal. Online isn’t teaching. The relationship is not there. How do you build trust and relationships over the computer? I feel for teachers because it is hard work to keep their attention through the screen.”

This is not the only thing families are going through, Lautiki said. There are significant financial struggles as well, she explained.

Lopes said, “Realize families are struggling with other things due to COVID. The parents are already working, and adding school [pressure] to the family dynamic is [a lot]. I had to decide to stay at home with my kids and not go to work because they were all home. It brings on stress because we had to take a financial cut.”

The road to improvement 

Lautiki said she believes tutoring supports from university students would be beneficial, even if it is over Zoom. She said extra helping hands for families who need it could help relieve the burden.

Tai Hook said the dependence between teacher and parent is vital to support the children. She can’t physically be there to get the children’s book or coloring books ready, but she shared she does the best she can to teach them and keep their attention.

“I don’t want to depend on the parents to do it all, but there needs to be support from both sides. I do my best to make it easier for the families,” Tai Hook said.

There were a couple of times where she said she saw the burden remote classes are bringing to families. Tai Hook said children are either being punished for not doing their homework or may not have the resources, and it makes it hard to expect a lot from the families.

“[Some] parents want the children to deliver, but what I learned in the classroom is it takes time.” She said she believes understanding this would be beneficial to the children and their learning.

“If we take away the love for learning, it will be hard to build that again.”