Ke Alaka’i: The Podcast hosts discuss how online culture shapes identity, authenticity and self-expression
In an era where social media encourages people to share only the most visually appealing or entertaining parts of their lives, Julia Aunai and Myco Marcaida explored what it means to feel authentic in an increasingly performative digital world.
During the episode, the two hosts discussed how individuality is not only shaped by personal experiences, but also online presence and outside perception. They reflected on the pressure to seem interesting, the influence of social media with self-expression and whether individuality is internally formed or externally influenced.
Talking about individuality and self-expression, Marcaida, a senior majoring in communication, media and culture from the Philippines, said people often compare their everyday lives to curated ones they see online. “My life isn't necessarily like an actor's life. Every day for them I think is pretty interesting. But then there's boring moments too,” she said. The hosts discussed how social media relies on selective sharing, where the most engaging or fun moments are posted, while the boring moments are left out. They suggested this contributes to the feeling that everyday life is not enough unless it is packaged in a way that feels unique to others.
This pressure is created by social media, Marcaida said. Applications such as Instagram and TikTok encourage users to share highlight-reel versions of their lives, she continued. The hosts discussed how this cycle of selective posting reinforces the idea that identity must be constantly performed rather than simply lived.
Aunai, a junior communications, media and culture student from California, said social media can shape the way people understand themselves and how they want to be perceived. Referencing sociologist Charles Cooley’s concept of “looking-glass self,” she explained how identity can develop through perceived judgment from others. “This concept suggests that people develop their sense of self based on how they believe others perceive them. He suggested that we don't know who we are–we learn who we are by knowing how others perceive us,” she shared.
Marcaida related this theory to everyday experiences, including times where she has asked friends their first impression of her to become more aware of appearance and behavior in social settings. Even offline identity, they said, can be shaped by anticipation of how others might interpret them. “I don't know when I reached this threshold, but I was like, [others’ impression] doesn't really matter. People are going to see me the way they do,” Aunai said.
In a game titled “Performative versus Authentic" the hosts debated whether common trends and behaviors were genuine forms of self-expression or performative acts shaped by social expectations. From wearing wired headphones, reading in public and men playing the guitar, the conversation highlighted how judgements of authenticity are subjective and influenced on age, context and intent. For example, the two discussed how someone reading in public does not automatically make them performative; their answer changed depending on the location and the doer’s age. While social media can contribute to creativity and self-discovery, Aunai said it also contributes to a culture in which identity feels increasingly performative.
Most people’s lives are ordinary, the hosts said. Ordinary life does not need to be exceptional or extraordinary to have value. Authenticity may come from reflection and self-awareness rather than external validation or online presence. “Social media isn't negative, but if you don’t really know yourself, it becomes easy to copy what you see instead of forming your own identity,” Aunai said.