Dalvin Keil, Kayli Whiting, and Kody Finley are BYU–Hawaii students who each faced unique challenges upon returning home from their missions. They said keeping up with the habits they learned on their mission helped them adjust from mission life to student life.
From home to school in one day
Keil, a sophomore from Samoa majoring in information technology, did not have much time with his family after returning home from his mission. Keil finished his mission in Auckland, New Zealand, went home to Samoa, and the next day flew to Hawaii to begin studying at BYUH during the Winter Semester 2020.
“Not seeing my family for long was the hardest part about coming home … It felt like the right thing to do, though. I didn’t want to miss out on a semester of school just to stay home,” he said.
His time at home went by quickly, said Keil. Even though he only spent a day there, it felt especially short. He shared it was a bittersweet return because everyone knew he would soon be leaving. Keil expressed his gratitude for being able to see his family again after two years apart.
He said the best thing about being home is the ability to communicate with his family whenever he wants. “It’s good not to have to worry about getting permission to do whatever I want now.”
Keil said because he is 23 years old and still a sophomore, he felt it would be better to leave home quickly so he could return to school and get closer to graduation.
Upon arriving at BYUH, Keil said it felt strange to walk around by himself, as he was not used to being without his companion. He said after a couple of days he was able to turn off the missionary switch “and get back to reality and the rest of my life.”
Among the skills he gained on his mission, planning helped him the most upon returning to school, he shared. Keil said setting goals and making plans to meet his goals helps him manage his time and accomplish his goals. This is why he still makes detailed plans. “If you make a goal but have no plan for it, it won’t work out,” said Keil.
Her mother’s cancer diagnosis
The day Whiting, a sophomore from Utah majoring in psychology, came home from her mission in Atlanta, Georgia she found out her mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She said her parents had not told her about her mother’s diagnosis because they did not want to worry her or distract her from her mission.
Whiting said she struggled to hold back tears when her parents told her of the diagnosis, and she cried herself to sleep that night. She said, “I needed to trust in God and the revelation to [go] to school here.”
Although it was a difficult time, Whiting said she was grateful she was able to spend four months at home after her mission to take care of her mother. It was a time where she grew even closer to her mother, she said.
Whiting shared she didn’t feel homesick after coming to BYUH, but she did often worry about her mother’s health. She said she had to learn to rely on God and trust in Him to help her get by.
Because of this, she explained how her biggest challenge was finding a sense of purpose. “Missionaries have such a clear-cut purpose, and you feel so important. Then, all of a sudden, you’re a college kid. It can be stressful because your life is so different now.”
Whiting said serving her friends, roommates, and everyone else in her life helped her find her purpose. She said by doing all these things she could then feel the Spirit more in her life.
In addition, trying to keep the good habits she learned on her mission, like planning, studying the scriptures and exercising, helped her find a sense of purpose, said Whiting. “Our purpose is to overcome our natural selves, so sticking to a schedule and lifestyle like that … makes you more disciplined. It benefits you a lot,” said Whiting.
Returning to a place he never lived
Returning home from a mission in Georgia was difficult for Finley, a freshman from California majoring in business management. While on his mission, Finley’s family moved from their home in California to Utah. Finley said it was strange returning “home” to a place he had never lived.
Shortly after arriving in Utah, Finley had knee surgery, which left him bedridden for a month. “I didn’t know what to do with my time … I would sit around, watch movies, and read the scriptures.”
Finley shared how after his surgery he often felt frustrated because of his lack of mobility. He said shortly after the surgery, he tried to walk around his room and felt the blood rush to the stitches in his leg. He was forced to sit down and maneuver his way back into his bed.
Finley described how he had to scoot around his room because walking wasn’t an option. He said it was not a time he would ever want to repeat, although he did note it taught him a lot about patience.
Finley mentioned it was hard to find a sense of purpose after returning home because, for the first month, it was hard for him to be independent. “Being home, there wasn’t a lot I had to do. So, I was free to do anything and nothing at the same time.”
Being a student gave Finley a schedule, classes, homework, and provided him with more structure, he said. “It was such a huge boost to come here after being home and not having a lot of anything to do,” said Finley.
Making new friends was another challenge he faced after arriving at BYUH, Finley shared. His solution was to be more outgoing. He said he talked to people in his classes and in the Cafeteria, he joined clubs, and tried to put himself out there as much as possible.
“Being with people makes the transition better. When you have a good group of friends, it’s easier to have a good time, and you have less time to be down on yourself,” said Finley.