She has permanent scars on her neck from dehydration, was prescribed – at age 15 – vitamins for pregnant women due to malnutrition, and knows what it’s like to fear a “life substance.”
“That’s what happens when you starve yourself to death,” said Kristie Lam, a sophomore political science major from Canada. In the summer between her sophomore and junior years of high school, Lam began treatment for anorexia and bulimia nervosa.
“To overcome any type of mental disorder, the first thing is for the person to admit he or she has a problem,” said Lam. “It took me a long time, and once I did, I was sent straight to the doctor where they did lots of blood tests, lots of cardiac testing, and then I was told to go to therapy, but I didn’t want to.”
Anorexia nervosa is defined by the Mayo Clinic as, “an eating disorder characterized by an abnormally low body weight, intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted perception of body weight.”
Bulimia nervosa is another type of eating disorder in which people, according to the Mayo Clinic, try to “get rid of the extra calories in an unhealthy way… Someone with bulimia may force vomiting or engage in excessive exercise.”
For Lam it was a little bit of both, beginning when someone very close to her noted to her that she had gained weight.
“It’s scary how deep of an influence other people can have on you,” said Lam. “I just started thinking I’m not good enough, there’s got to be a way for me to be a Victoria’s Secret model. I began feeling like I had to look skinny and hot to be accepted.”
Lam began with anorexia – starving herself little by little – and just when she thought about getting out of it, she developed bulimia. Associated with eating disorders is hair loss, and Lam remembers lying in bed, crying because she had lost so much of her hair. A few days later, she admitted to her Young Women’s President she was ready to accept help.
“It was hard,” said Lam, “but because I admitted I had a problem it was easier to realize that people have problems from time to time, people make mistakes. I was worried that people were going to condemn me, but everything was okay, everything turned out fine.”
Lam’s story is just one, however, and not every case results in survival. “Anorexia has the highest mortality rate,” said BYU–Hawaii Counseling Center Ph.D. Intern Hannah Stokes. “Out of all mental disabilities, it has the highest.”
Stokes said high school and early college age is a target age range where people are most susceptible to eating disorders. “For individuals with eating disorders in college, it tends to be a carryover from high school,” she said.
Treatment for any type of eating disorder, after admitting there is a need, stems from counselors, and is available here at BYUH.
“Talk to a counselor,” said Stokes. “You'll be loved, and you’ll be saved. We do like to get a doctor’s opinion, so sometimes we refer people to the Health Center. But there is hope. People do get better.”
Eating disorders can be manifest in a variety of different ways, and has a lot do, said Stokes, with guilt, shame, and an “excessive rumination over food.”
Stokes continued, “For people with eating disorders, they see someone who is fat, someone who is not worth loving.”
Stokes explained the difference between someone concerned about their weight and a person with an eating disorder is whether or not he or she is at the point where food and calories and weight are all they think about. When a person reaches this point, he or she can lose friendships, and sometimes even his or her job because of the physical consequences of starvation and/or purging.
“From the moment you start to hate yourself because you ate,” said Lam, “that’s when it becomes a problem. People should recognize bad eating habits, but while they are making the change they need to still appreciate themselves.”
“Because they are starving themselves,” said Stokes, “their body thinks and moves slower, their organs shut down, they start losing bone density, and so their bones will break more easily. Some people will have bad teeth problems because vomit is acidic. Basically you are starving, and so your body will shut down and you will die. We want to do whatever it takes to keep you alive.”
Many are resistant to treatment, but it is important they make that first step, which can often be helped by the encouragement of a friend. “Tell them to come into the Counseling Center,” said Stokes. “Sometimes that can feel pretty scary. The best thing is to be supportive, not of the habit, but of them. Let them know they are loved and they are cared about. But most people with an eating disorder are not going to be cured by their friends.”
In Lam’s case, she felt supported by friends and family from the moment she was willing to accept treatment. Today she is grateful to have had people at her side when she needed it, forcing her to eat and attending therapy sessions with her as she worked her body back to a healthy condition.
“I think peers should encourage them to go seek help,” said freshman Ashlyn Egbert, a biology major from Utah. “I think it’s a bigger problem than most people think because it’s just not something people really think about. But it is a widespread problem, and why wouldn’t it be when we are bombarded by so many things?”
Lam also had the opportunity to give a few talks to her high school about self-respect, and said she was really only afraid of the public speaking aspect, and didn’t feel any shame in sharing her story. She witnessed the impact her story had, and hopes in the future to make it possible for young women to have someone to talk to and to learn how their body works.
“Because of that experience I learned how to take care of my body,” said Lam. “I know what it’s like to take a life substance, such as food, and become afraid of it, so scared that I would feel guilty even touching it. It’s like I knew I was dying because of it, but I was so scared I couldn't get anywhere near it... because it was so burnt in my heart that something that was supposed to be good for me was bad.”