BYU–Hawaii student shares how faith, resilience and finding a strong social support helped him face his challenges coming from a broken family
Rean Abancia, a senior from the Philippines majoring in communications, media and culture, described his life’s journey as an act of perseverance through hardship. He continued that without the family he found in the Church, he would not be at BYU—Hawaii being surrounded by people who would make him remember that he is a child of God and be strengthened in faith with His plan.
Not being able to grow up with his biological family, Abancia said it was hard not having a parental figure. Abancia said he questioned the whereabouts of his parents but his relatives would not say anything unless it’s work related. “They never told me exactly what happened because I was really young,” he said. Despite not knowing anything about his parents, he needed to move on and focus on his studies, he said. “It’s definitely hard but I had to do something to provide for myself,” he added.
Filling the void
Abancia said, meeting the missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at the age of 17 made him feel welcomed and happy. “I had that sense of family in the Church that I’ve longed for quite some time,” he said. Despite all of the bad things he has heard about the Church, his curiosity about how families can be together forever made him stay. “I think because of having that faith established in me that I would eventually have a family, led me to searching more and accepting what the church teaches,” he explained.
Serving a mission in the Philippines in 2017 to 2019, Abancia said he learned that he was not the only one with the same story of being abandoned. “I don't have to feel like it's the end of the world. There's always a chance for me. I believe my mission was the first step for me to build a family and help others through my story too,” he shared. Abancia said his family was not supportive of him going on a mission because he was already a junior in college. He said because of his decision to serve, his relatives kicked him out. “My family was telling me I need to finish my education but I had a strong feeling from God that if I do serve now, something will mess up my life … I need to tell the gospel truth to people,” he explained.
After serving his mission, Abancia said that it was where his challenges started. He said he was torn between continuing school or finding a job, but decided to choose the latter. “I had a strong feeling about going back to my biological family again so I never pushed [finding job] fully,” he said.
After looking through social media for his family, Abancia said they eventually reunited. “But it was not the same. I became inactive in the church because it takes about three to four hours away from where my family lives.” Abancia said it felt like torture because he said he wanted to have a good relationship with his biological family but he was being pushed away. “The culture, the traditions that they have is so different from what I learned. And it was definitely hard, especially with my grandmother because she would always compare me to my classmates who already have a decent job,” he explained.
Later on, Abancia said he decided to run away from his biological family. “I basically became homeless but because of my friend who reached out to me, I got to live with them for the meantime,” he shared. Abancia said despite all of the challenges he faced, especially after serving his mission, he said his testimony grew more.
Building a new home
Although he misses his biological family, he knew he was starting his own chapter in life. “So, for those who are struggling, I would say: keep going. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’ve been there. There were nights I cried and prayed, asking God why things were happening to me. But now, looking back, I realize that those moments shaped me,” Abancia shared.
Abancia said, with everything he had encountered in life, being at BYUH was his greatest blessing with the help of his former companion. “It was really emotional when I first got here because it was my first time riding a plane and leaving the country. I was so nervous but also so excited. When I got here, everything was so beautiful — the ocean, the mountains and the people. Everyone was so nice,” he said.
Jared Chan, a biology freshman from Utah and one of Abancia’s friends, said within their group of friends, Abancia was the one that brings them together. “He’ll be reaching out to us whether in person or in text, he just loves making people known that they are being cared and loved for,” he said. Chan said Abancia considered his friends as an answered prayer. He continued that Abancia’s challenges in life were the beginning of his lifelong journey towards unlocking his potential to become more. “He has just so much potential and I’m excited to see where his life goes,” Chan said.
Josh Lundin, a business management sophomore from Idaho and a friend of Abancia, said Abancia knew how to empathize with others because of what he went through in life. He added that he admired Abanacia’s strong pursuit of changes in life. “Abancia will be like it’s not going great so I want to change and he really strives to do it,” Lundin said.