Two sisters from Connecticut who are BYUH December 2023 graduates share insights into what they called a transformative college journey
Chenoa and Sarah Francis said the complexities of resilience, friendships and identity crises were simplified as they embraced their sisterhood. Chenoa studied English and Sarah studied social work but both said university life and challenges weren't easy. Culture shock, loneliness, uncertainty of staying at BYUH and difficulty finding purpose were encounters they said they both faced.
Chenoa reminisced about her high school years, saying she used to be studious and highly motivated to get good grades. During her sophomore year of college, she said her motivation for education vanished as she tried to find her purpose. She said she worried she had done something wrong to make her lose her motivation. Her feelings got worse as she compared herself to friends who were more passionate about education.
A similar experience happened to her older sister, Sarah. During her freshman year on campus, Sarah said she experienced so much anxiety as she struggled to make connections with other students. “Most of the freshmen make deep friendships,” she said, and seeing posts of these friendships on social media made her wonder what she was lacking.
Finding life’s purpose through spiritual connection
Sarah said she realized she not only had a hard time connecting with people but also had a hard time connecting with God. Recognizing this she said she thought, “I long for a feeling of a deep connection. I need to take initiative in my life,” and chose to serve a mission. After her mission she said the question was whether to come back to BYU-Hawaii or not. Sarah said she continually prayed about her future and had a dream of reopening her mission call with her BYUH friends. “For the first time I felt the Spirit and felt really happy knowing the answer was so clear that I needed to come back and grab more opportunities in BYUH,” she said.
While Sarah was away on the mission, Chenoa said she continued her BYUH journey while carrying the biggest question of her college life. She said she pondered the school motto, “Enter to learn, go forth to serve,” but didn’t know how it applied to her. Chenoa recounted what a high school teacher had once told her, “Chenoa, don’t let the world change your smile. Change the world with your smile.” With this in mind, she said she turned to prayer and received the impression to get a patriarchal blessing. She expressed gratitude at receiving her blessing and said, “For the first time in months, I felt good and positive about continuing my journey at BYUH.”
Exploring the uncertain
After understanding what God intended her to do, Chenoa said she decided to make the best out of her education and live more in the moment. She said she grew stronger as she asked herself questions such as, “Have I maximized my potential to develop more of my skills?” She said when she realized she hadn’t contributed much effort, she made sure to do new things. Immersing herself in the community she said she became a nanny for a family in Laie, participated in the English department as a poetry editor and got involved in the undergraduate research conference. All of this helped her find belonging, she said.
Similarly, when Sarah came back from her mission she expanded her skills to connect with others. Along with that, she said learning piano and writing poetry has been a powerful tool to keep herself on track. Together Chenoa and Sarah reactivated the Afro World Club to make it a safe place for black people to share their struggles and pains.
Developing friendship through sisterhood
Sarah shared her college life wouldn’t be as fulfilling as it is if she didn’t have her sister around. “She is like my built-in best friend, she’s always the person that I can talk to,” said Sarah. She expressed how she treasured the personality differences between them. “I am stricter to myself and she is so relaxed, so I really value [her] perspectives because it really calms me.”
“My sister is my emotional support system here because I didn’t need to pretend to be someone else,” Chenoa said, “She made me feel the safest here. She motivates me and pushes me to do hard things.” Not everyone has the same opportunity to have a sibling on campus, acknowledged Chenoa, but said, “Give your energy to those who give the same energy to you. It gives you the feeling of home.”
Loisi Nalesoni, a sophomore from Tonga majoring in biology, was Sarah’s co-worker and roommate. She said Chenoa’s daily visit to Sarah made her admire their sisterly bond. “They are like best friends,” Nalesoni said about the Francis sisters. She witnessed them argue, she said, but it always had a light and fun energy that brought laughter.
By watching them, Nalesoni said she learned the older sister does not always need to be the person who takes responsibility for everything. The Francis sisters helped each other, she said. “The way they work together showed me that their mother raised them really well,” said Nalesoni.