Embody Love Club President Kylee Denison said the purpose of the club is to promote self-compassion and confidence for students on campus. She explained it’s difficult for people to love themselves when they feel they’re alone. “I really want people to connect and be around like-minded people and have a safe space for vulnerability.”
Denison, a senior from Salt Lake City, Utah, majoring in social work, said she struggled with self-love and her body image growing up. She disliked certain features about her body and compared herself to the ideal image of a woman, she added. “I just wanted to belong to something, and I felt the only way I could do that was to conform to the norms society told me to conform to.”
The ideal look for a woman, she described, is similar to Victoria's Secret or billboard models. She added having an Instagram creates more room for comparison and is a shallow way to communicate. “[People] communicate through comparison and through [their] egos. Humans aren’t meant to connect on that kind of level.”
Upon returning home from her mission, Denison shared she sought therapy with the goal of learning to love herself. Despite lots of practice, tears and digging deep in herself, she added she realized achieving self-love takes time and effort. In fact, she said the journey can be a “lifelong process.”
Denison shared she rallied a group of friends and collaborated on starting a club to support those with similar challenges. Upon joining multiple clubs and activities, Denison said she connected with people she could trust and express her personal challenges with.
During Fall Semester 2021, she explained she came up with the idea of starting the club and met with 15 people at her house to collaborate. Her club presidency, she said, includes Vice President of Services Kathryn Forte, Vice President of Activities Sierra Allred, Secretary David Jacobson, and Secretary Treasurer Saydria Garn.
Majoring in social work has helped her to start the club because the job of a social worker is to see and solve problems in society, said Denison. “The whole purpose of social work is to help people,” she explained.
Acknowledging struggles
On Feb. 8, more than 50 members participated in the Embody Love Club’s opening social. The event consisted of icebreaker games and a presentation from Nicole Bennett, adjunct faculty in the Faculty of Education & Social Work and co-advisor for the club.
One of the activities involved students answering a series of questions related to mental health struggles. Together, club members formed a circle and every time Denison asked a question, members would affirm by stepping forward and vice versa if they didn't.
EmmaLee Moore, a junior from Alaska majoring in marine biology, said at first, she felt nervous because she normally wouldn’t admit her mental health struggles. She said because she has struggled with anxiety and depression, she hesitated to acknowledge some of the questions asked.
However, she added seeing other students step forward and acknowledging their struggles made her less nervous. She also said it was emotional and she found herself holding back from crying. “It definitely took a bit of courage, … but it was therapeutic to be able to step forward.”
Quincy Tahiata, a junior from Australia majoring in Pacific Island Studies, said the game gave him a visual perspective of everybody’s struggles. Tahiata said he saw how the club progressed from the class because he was a part of the human behavior social work class, where the idea for the club originated. He added giving people time to talk about self-love will help improve their “overall health.”
At the end of the activity, Denison asked if anyone felt less alone than they did at the beginning of the activity. In response, Denison shared almost every participant stepped forward. “That’s the power of connection. When we bring people together to work on that problem, I think there’s power to that.”
The power of vulnerability
In her presentation, Bennett talked about the importance of vulnerability and establishing a trustworthy circle of people. She said, “Vulnerability is a boundary that builds connection.”
Being vulnerable includes understanding what is confidential, or what is appropriate to share or not share, Bennett explained. “Not everybody has the right to hear [a person’s] story. They have to earn that right.” She added it isn't about feeling guilty or ashamed but setting human boundaries that build connections.
Shared vulnerability includes being able to open up about struggles because if someone wants others to share things with them, they have to share as well, explained Bennett. In addition, she said compassion isn’t complete if students don’t have compassion for themselves.
People must recognize if what they're saying is helping their friends resolve their problems, Bennett shared. Instead of using the phrase “at least,” she added, students must offer their support and when people open up about their struggles. She said it is important to be mindful of people’s information without judgment.
Moore said Bennett explained the importance of a safe environment, one where people don’t have to feel judged and know they aren’t alone. “I know it’s something I have to work on because I tend to be pretty closed off.”
Nobody is alone
Denison said she hopes members of the club will feel they’re not alone, “advocate to bring other students to join … and advocate for people to love themselves more.”
The club's Instagram page, @embodyloveclub, provides information regarding its goals and future activities and states the club’s mission statement. “Our purpose is to empower students to embody love for themselves and others by developing a positive body image and sense of self, understanding their worth and finding confidence in their physical abilities.
“We provide workshops and activities designed to inspire students to become mentally and physically healthy, create a space for connection and advocate for the wellbeing of all.”