Students and faculty described their first times meeting as “magical” and shared how they determined if their eternal companions were the ones for them.
They explained how reaching out to the Lord, praying often, taking time to get to know one another and pursuing their questions in faith helped them find their answers.
Malia Malala, a former student and the spouse of Ojay Malala, an alumnus from Michigan, recalled her first experience meeting her husband at a school dance. After getting ready for bed, she said she took up a friend on their offer to go to the dance and go in her pajamas.
A friend of hers introduced them at the dance, and Malia Malala said they were both attracted to each other. Despite this, they did not talk much due to the loud music and the dark dance floor. Coincidentally, the next day they were both at the temple taking pictures, and both of them took double takes, she said.
“When we were at the temple, I felt a spark and all types of feelings. Every time he smiled, it made me smile. Every date since my cheeks hurt because I loved his smile, and I [am] the happiest when I [am] with him.”
Ojay Malala added, “The Sunday we saw each other at the temple, it shocked me. I thought she was very cute. I felt a spark.”
Larry and Joyce Smart, former senior missionaries currently working in the Mathematics department at BYUH, shared they experienced love at first sight. They were both in a pre-med meeting. Larry Smart saw Joyce Smart, but she didn’t see him until they ended up working at the same butcher shop, and Larry Smart said that was where the love began.
Joyce Smart said he asked her out to a work Christmas party, and afterward, they continued dating. She said, “My mother was worried because she would ask, ‘Are you sure you don’t want to date other guys?’ But we continued to see each other.
“We felt the spark and magic spending time together. We have five kids, all married, and actually, every one of my children right out of the ballpark said they felt that way and were captivated by the person they married.”
Larry Smart said his wife was different than the other girls. “I was dating a couple of other girls at the time when I met Joyce. She impressed me because she had excellent values. That kept me wanting to stay dating her because of the way she chose to live her life.”
Expectation vs. reality
Each couple shared how they were not expecting to meet their companions in the situations they met them in. They testified of the power of prayer and how it helped them in their decisions to get married. Joyce Smart said, “We were so afraid to talk about marriage because we were so young and had so much school ahead of us.
“Once you get married, there’s a lot to get to know about one another. It was good to have that strong confirmation we both received from the Spirit because it carried us through the times when it was rocky or hard. ... We had made the decision that we would push through the hard times. It’s never perfect. We are still people who sometimes are not perfect.”
Larry Smart said, “Don’t expect perfection. Be grateful for the good things and be forgiving for the others.”
Of the difficulties of marriage, Malia Malala said, “Be willing to compromise if somebody has a trait that is not ideal for you or your dream spouse. There were some things that I didn’t like about my husband and probably the same for him about me. Don’t look for the one person who has every single thing on your list because you’re never going to find that in a person. Be willing to compromise and work through it.”
In March, Mark Maslar, a sophomore from California studying theatre education, married his wife, Johanah. He said he believes people don’t have a specific soul mate, but they can create a soul mate relationship with the person they choose. “For me, when you know someone well enough and know [you] could live with this person for the rest of your life with their problems and weaknesses, it will be okay.
“I got a confirmation from the Spirit the day of our first kiss. She shared [personal stories], and I felt to kiss her and share sweet words to her. I got this confidence I knew was the Spirit because I wouldn’t have known how to do that on my own. It was a strong impression, and since then, we just knew.”
Ojay Malala shared how he often talked with his bishop about marriage, and he and his wife went to church searching for a confirmation. They said they both knew three months into dating they wanted to get married, and they spent more than two years getting to know one another. “We broke the ice before getting married,” said Malia Malala. She said she believes knowing what the other likes, dislikes and how to push each other’s buttons has helped them in their newly married life.
Faith over doubt
“There were a few times I would find myself starting to have some doubts. It takes faith to persevere through those and remember the confirmation you had that it was a good choice. It’s a lot of faith involved,” Larry Smart said.
Malia Malala said, “I was dating another guy when I was dating Ojay. I had feelings of doubt because I had two great guys. I called my mom and explained my situation to her. I also prayed about it. Ultimately, I knew the Lord would support me in whatever decision I chose. I followed my gut.”
Joyce Smart emphasized it is important to be really in tune with the Spirit and listen. “If you get confirmation it’s not right, follow through and end it. It can be easy not to want to complicate things and hurt feelings, but it will be worse to carry through. “Live your life so you can receive personal inspiration because you need it in all aspects of your life, and this is one of the most important decisions of your life.”