About half of U.S. college students are in a long distance relationship, reports the Business Insider. This is no exception for BYU–Hawaii students, as many of them try, fail, and succeed at making relationships work over a vast ocean.
Some students at BYU–Hawaii shared their experiences and what they’ve learned about their relationships.
Studies have shown long-distance couples can be as close in their relationship as people who are constantly together, reported the Business Insider.
“Long distance relationships are really no different than any other relationship,” said Karsten Griffin, a senior studying biomedical science from California, who has been in a long-distance relationship for three months. “If it’s going to work, it's going to work because you’re compatible.”
Science, articles, and students in Hawaii agree communication is necessary to make these relationships work. Without seeing each other or being around each other, communication makes the relationship keep going and progressing.
“Constant communication is number one whether it's everyday texting, calling, facetiming or snapchatting,” said Brooke Lindahl, a junior studying psychology from Arizona who has been long-distance for 6 months and is now engaged.
The best form of communication for her would be calling. “Even then, we would send a couple packages and send love letters. That may be cheesy but I read those all the time.”
Communication can go beyond the occasional phone call or text. “You’re not physically there for them, so you have to meet a lot of their needs,” said Mathew Olson, a senior from Utah studying business management finance track, who built most of his relationship over long-distance.
Olson said for him he had to make sure that the little things mattered by sending flowers, handwritten postcards and letters, emails, and snaps on Snapchat. “I want to find a way that I can still protect, help, support, and meet her needs even though I’m so far away.”
Another important step to making long-distance work is to set goals, like when you two will see or talk to each other again. Griffin set goals to fly home to see his girlfriend during breaks, giving him something to look forward to when he missed her.
“If you have a way to measure and track when you’ll see each other next, what you expect when you meet, those types of things it will make the transition from long distance feel shorter and move faster and it doable,” said Griffin.
What made it more enjoyable for Olson was doing activities when they would talk. He would set up scavenger hunts for his girlfriend and be with her as she looked for the clues. This was also the way he proposed to her, by setting up a scavenger hunt and waiting for her at the end. Long-distance may work for some and not for others.
Crosby Curry has a failed and a successful long-distance relationship under her belt. She said it is important that she and her boyfriend are on the same page. “We were different kind of people and wanted different kinds of things. That was a miscommunication in itself,” she said of her previous boyfriend. “Brandon and I are on the same page about so many things,” she said of her current one.
But in the end, the most important thing was they wanted to make it work. Olson said, “We put both effort and time into it...and wanted to make it work.” He added, “It's totally been worth it and for her I would do it all over again.”
Lindahl added that she wanted to stay with her fiancé more than anybody else. Lindahl said, “We both came to the conclusion that we’d rather date each other with an ocean between us than anything else.”