The deal with dating in BYU-Hawaii is that people do not date enough here and when they do they only date within their circle of friends, according to BYUH students. They suggested leaving those comfort zones and talking to more people to increase the dating percentage here.
What do you think about the dating scene here at BYUH?
Wally Seupule a senior in graphic design from Samoa: “I think the dating scene here is really good, but I feel bad for the girls cause there’s so many of them, and boys have more choices.”
Helen Huang, a senior in social work from Taiwan: “I think people come here for marriage. It’s in the Mormon Culture.”
Tyler Pisciotta, a junior in biomedical studies from Las Vegas: “I think people don’t date enough. I feel like a lot of people get together and hang out but its nothing serious. There are lots of flings.”
Sarah Acobera, a sophomore in psychology from the Philippines: “There are different expectations from different cultures on how people should date and it makes dating here confusing. A boy can think its one casual date and the girl can think its eternity.”
Why do you think that is?
Stephanie Huff, a freshman in elementary education from Arizona: “There are lots of cliques here, so when guys ask girls out in their circle, and they say no, they don’t leave their clique and ask other girls out.”
Pisciotta: “It depends on the perspective. It’s easy to point fingers, but it’s a generation thing. Some guys don’t ask out, some girls don’t put themselves out there.”
Huang: “Here, cultures are integrated and everyone has a different perspective on marriage. I can speak for the majority of the Taiwanese students when I say that we’re told to be independent and educated so you are able to support yourself before you have a family.”
Acobera: “There’s this little circle of girls who get asked out, and then there’s a bigger circle around them of girls who don’t get asked out. We can’t force a guy to ask girls out because it depends on how attracted they are to a person.”
Do you go on dates?
Huang: “I get asked out but I always say no. Because I know they’re looking to get married and it’s not something I want to do right now. I’d rather stay good friends with them. It’s not them individually.”
Seupule: “I used to ask girls out but not anymore because when you get to the serious level of dating you don’t just ask random girls. You need to hang out with them first then when you’re ready to date them, you ask.”
Huff: “I feel like people don’t date here. I don’t think I would ever say no, unless the person was a complete stranger and I didn’t know them.”
Pisciotta: “I try to go on dates at least twice a month. Friendship leads to courtship, which leads to a relationship. I love Sister Tanner’s talk called “Make Dating Smooth Sailing” which talks about this.”
What do you think about girls asking boys out on dates?
Seupule: “I have nothing against girls asking boys out. I actually have a lot of respect for girls who do that. Some boys are shy. I would never say no.”
Acobera: “I think girls asking guys out is okay as long as they know the rules, that if you ask a guy out you should be the one to plan and pay for it. It’s ok if you want to ask them out because you have your agency, you should use it and if you want someone, go for it!”
Pisciotta: “I think girls asking out boys is great because you’re taking initiative and showing you’re interested. It says a lot about a girl.”
Huff: “Nowadays so many girls want equal rights. I feel if a girl really wants to go out with a guy, she should ask him.”
What qualities do you look for in someone you would date?
Seupule: “For me to date someone, personality is everything. Her personality needs to be natural and not forced. Personality is not something you get from somebody else.”
Huff: “Someone who’s caring, fun, straight-forward, kind, and funny. I think knowing that they care about you and are not just asking you out because their friends are pressuring them to is important.”
Pisciotta: “Someone that’s fun, kind, and makes herself available; someone who tries to present themselves and is easy to talk to.”
Acobera: “Someone who is temple-oriented. We have our university, but we also have access to a higher university. I think he plans for us to study here but also to find a way to look for that special eternal companion.”
What do you suggest we do as a campus to change the dating stigma?
Huff: “If there were more boys here then there would be more dates. The boys here ask girls out but there are not enough of them. People need to break out of their comfort zones and meet others outside their cliques.”
Pisciotta: “A lot of people complain on what to do. We need to be creative with date ideas. I’ve done a date where we went to Temple Beach and played corn hole and ordered pizza. Dating doesn’t always have to end in marriage.”
Acobera: “I think confidence is a big thing and that’s something that would help [girls] get asked out. Because if you believe you are going to get asked out then you show it. There’s something in you and guys are going to notice.”
Writer: Leslie Owusu