The Relationship Chase Theory can be a fun way to build a relationship but the need to reciprocate, have patience and differentiate between love and lust is vital, said BYU-Hawaii students.
The word ‘chase’ has many denotations, but is commonly defined as “The period before a relationship (or before a rejection) where a guy attempts to create the romantic bond. Involves much dating and confusion,” according to Urban Dictionary.
Tyler Pisciotta, a junior in biomedical studies from Las Vegas, said the chase before the relationships are important because it builds the relationship. “The chase is fun when it’s reciprocated. But if the girl is being rude then no. Sometimes there’s a sense of entitlement and she may think ‘oh I won’t text back him back just because I can’. But then guys too can be jerks sometimes. It goes both ways,” he continued.
Some see the chase as a dating strategy and others see it as a game. It comes with both rules and roles that are temporary and change with time, but it requires patience on both ends.
Different methods of the chase can include playing hard to get, teasing, switching between hot and cold, and even having a power struggle on who texts who first.
Rebeka Toleafoa, a freshman in graphic design from Samoa, said her current boyfriend asked her out four times before she said yes. She said, “When I got here I told myself I wouldn’t date. He asked me four times and I said yes at the right time.”
Toleafoa explained from a Polynesian perspective, they don’t ask a formal date question and instead ask to hang out. “Everyone hangs out in groups, that is what you call dating – I think that’s good.”
She said, “To the girls who feel like they don’t get asked, maybe they get asked to hang out instead and don’t count that as dating, when the boy may see it as dating.
Elio Hamoiviti, a sophomore in math from Samoa, said that the first part of the chase is to get to know the other person. “For me, the thrill of the chase depends on their personality. People have to differentiate between love and lust. If it is love they should know the difference.”
When asked if he was single, dating, or married Hamoiviti replied, “I ask girls out sometimes. My purpose in dating is to learn from them and for them to learn from me. As soon as you go out [here at BYUH] everyone knows, the news travels faster than cellular data.”
Writer: Leslie Owusu