BYUH student and alumnus say changes become opportunities for growth when navigated with others
Just as leaves take on new colors in autumn, students from around the world leave their homes behind to attend BYU–Hawaii—an experience Vanessa Kate De Guzman described as a mix of excitement and pain. The beginning of a new semester—meeting new people, sharing a room with a stranger, taking new classes and navigating a new culture—can be overwhelming, said Joshua Paul. However, by seeking the help from others, developing healthy habits, practicing emotional honesty and utilizing available resources, De Guzman and Paul said this daunting transition can become a hopeful path to success.
From a psychological standpoint, De Guzman, a sophomore from the Philippines studying psychology, shared, “Change creates a painful experience in the brain.” While she sees studying in Hawaii as a blessing, she said, moving thousands of miles away from home was still a major transition in her life that brought significant emotional strain.
Paul, an alumnus from Malaysia working as an office assistant at the university’s Counseling Services, said starting school is a major adjustment. “You’re suddenly dealing with new roommates, new responsibilities, new lifestyle, attending classes, going to work and much more,” he explained.
Drawing from their experiences in psychology and social work, De Guzman and Paul said embracing change can foster emotional resilience and personal growth. “Some changes are positive, some are tough, but all of them can lead to growth. And if it gets too difficult, don’t go through it alone,” shared Paul.
Everyone needs someone
“There’s a story to tell behind every behavior. There’s a need behind every struggle,” De Guzman expressed. She said she believes every person can change for the better if adequate support and resources are accessible. “No man is an island. No one can navigate change in isolation,” she shared.
Having someone in your corner, Paul said, makes the journey lighter. “Seeking support helps you navigate change with a more hopeful and grounded outlook,” he added. He emphasized empathy as key to fostering connection and supporting others in a meaningful, positive way. “As students, we often feel left out, disconnected or socially anxious. Empathy helps bridge that gap,” he voiced. Real support, he said, happens in spaces that foster connections.
If you are willing to experience discomfort, shame, failure, awkwardness and embarrassment, you can do anything.
“No one is ever beyond help. No one is a hopeless case,” expressed De Guzman. She explained change looks different for everyone—sometimes dramatic, other times quiet and subtle. A person’s environment, she added, plays a vital role in their ability to cope. “I believe we grow positively when we feel safe with the people around us.”
According to Verywell Mind, psychosocial rehabilitation specialist Kendra Cherry writes, “It’s important to remember that other people might not be able to recognize your need for a specific type of support.” While affirming the value of social support, she says clearly communicating your needs is a great start. “Being specific and making a direct request can help ensure that you get the help that you need,” she explains.
Choosing self-compassion
Fear, De Guzman said, is a natural response to change and an indication that she cares for herself. “However, I did not want tolet fear incapacitate me,” she voiced. She said every uncomfortable step she willingly took led to growth. “If you are willing to experience discomfort, shame, failure, awkwardness and embarrassment, you can do anything. The little steps we take will soon lead us to greater paths,” she expressed.
Drawing from his experiences at the Counseling Services, Paul said self-care is not selfish. It’s essential. “Do things you enjoy: Listen to music, go for a walk, cook something delicious, read a book by your favorite author or relax at the beach,” he said. Low-pressure activities, he explained, help people release tension and anxiety.
He also emphasized the value of mindfulness. “Mindful breathing, for example, involves paying attention to each inhale and exhale,” he shared. This intentional focus, he said, grounds people in the present and reduces panic and anxiety. “It helps you recognize where you are right now. That helps a lot, because usually, when people get stressed out, they don’t know what to do,” he explained.
Having a clear direction in life, Paul added, equips individuals to navigate change more effectively. “When you know where you’re headed, you can better handle life’s transitions,” he shared. He said without a sense of direction, the chaos of change can lead people to dark places. “Even if the path is hard, if you know where you’re going, change becomes part of the process—not something to fear,” he voiced.
Adaptability, said De Guzman, is not innate—it’s learned. She said that’s why change varies in intensity and meaning for every individual. To manage it, she said people should learn to embrace their emotions. “Sit with your feelings. Growth requires emotional honesty, not suppression.”
Help is within reach
Doubting she’d survive college so far from the comfort of home, De Guzman said fear and anxiety initially paralyzed her. “That’s why it’s great the university offers plenty of resources, such as Counseling Services, to help us navigate our lives here,” she said. Determined to embrace change as a constant in her life, she said she decided to take advantage of the resources available to her. People often forget these supports, she said, when overwhelmed by sudden change.
“When I went there, my counselor advised me to keep a journal,” she shared. Following that advice, she said, gave her a sense of control and helped her establish a new routine. “I was finally starting intentional efforts to embrace the transition,” she expressed.
Changes, De Guzman said, could be painful and devastating—much like getting punched or breaking a bone. “The brain interprets change as a threat, especially when sudden. It can trigger anxiety, fear and resistance,” she shared. To fully accept transitions, she explained, the brain needs time to rewire itself and reframe change as an opportunity rather than a threat.
Paul said that is where the Counseling Services plays a vital role. “If left unaddressed, this can lead to a crisis where students feel completely overwhelmed and may even consider harming themselves,” he explained. The goal of the center, he said, is not just to respond to crises but to prevent them. “If a student starts feeling homesick or experiencing small symptoms of stress, we encourage them to seek help early,” he shared. He said addressing small issues early on keeps them from escalating.
“If you walk around campus, you’ll see prompts with questions like, ‘Are you feeling homesick?’ or ‘Are you having trouble sleeping at night?’” he shared. These prompts, he explained, are intentionally gentle, because directly addressing mental health issues could be intimidating, especially for students from cultures where the subject is stigmatized. “Using clinical language tends to scare people off or make them hesitant to acknowledge their struggles,” he shared. He said that’s why they prioritize using simple, relatable and compassionate language in conversations with students.
They also make sure students in serious emotional distress receive immediate support, he noted. “We do our best to connect them with a counselor as soon as possible,” he shared. While social support from friends, family and church leaders is important, he said certain situations call for professional mental health care.
“We also offer several types of support and workshops,” Paul shared. He said these workshops run for about five-to-six weeks each semester and cover essential mental health topics like stress management and anxiety. He also highlighted the Calming Creations program, which allows students to engage in creative activities in a relaxing, low-pressure environment. “Lastly, we have Rooted Garden Therapy, which takes place in a garden setting rather than a classroom,” he said. The project, he explained, focuses on mindfulness, meditation and connection with nature.
Some changes are positive, some are tough, but all of them can lead to growth. And if it gets too difficult, don’t go through it alone.