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Visiting Anglican Priest encourages all to help healing with storytelling and listening

An older man with a beard and long sleeves talking to a crowd of students
Photo by Hector Periquin

Father Michael Lapsley, a South Anglican Priest who founded the Institute for Healing of Memories after losing both of his hands and his sight in one eye in an assassination attempt 25 years ago, gave BYU-Hawaii students a special lecture on Thursday about the importance of sharing stories.

"Tell your story," said Father Lapsley. "All people have a story to tell and every story needs a listener."

Nearly a year in the making, the idea for the lecture came when graduate Dan Malinconico had the opportunity to meet Father Lapsley while interning with Quarr Abbey on the Isle of Wight. After finding out he would be visiting Oahu in Oct., Malinconico--who has past experience of arranging lectures for Honor's Colloquium--decided to ask Father Lapsley if he would do a special lecture.

"He just seemed like a very cheerful guy," said Malinconico. "He seemed generally interested in my life. I was impressed by his experience; he lived through a really important part of history. And I can read about it in textbooks or watch a documentary about it, but he was there."

Father Lapsley, who was born in New Zealand and moved to South Africa as an undergraduate student in 1973, where he was appointed chaplain on three separate campuses to both white and black students.

"From the moment of my arrival, every single aspect of my life was decided by the color of my skin," said Father Lapsley in a video created by Melvin McCray that was shown in the first 15 minutes of the lecture.

"I wasn't simply living in this cocoon of white privilege, but I was seeing day by day and relating to people who were at the receiving end of racist oppression and feeling its wrongness and its injustice."

The torturing and open, in-the-street shootings of school children who spoke out against the apartheid oppression pushed Father Lapsley over the edge. After joining the African National Congress, he moved to Zimbabwe knowing he was on the hit list of the apartheid regime, and in 1990 received a bomb in the mail that was hidden inside two religious magazines.

"His lecture encouraged me that what I am doing now is good and to keep doing what I do," said sophomore political science major Ulziika Sukhbaatar from Mongolia.

"Life is great and we all need to be grateful in life. Father Michael said, 'I lost a lot but I still have a lot.' What a wonderful comment it is. He lost two of his hands and sight in one eye. It made me question myself when he said this...do I complain how much I have to do, no time to go to the beach, no time to hang out with my friends, not enough money, and so on?

"These are the things we as students focus too much on and complain very often. The world needs our help and good hearts that desire to inspire others and give our time and effort to change even our small area," said Sukhbaatar.

Father Lapsley's Institute for Healing of Memories is based in Cape Town, South Africa, and offers workshops and seminars to help individuals and communities through the healing process both there and internationally.

Concerning the lecture, Malinconico said, "It wasn’t necessarily just to promote the institution. He talked a lot about the difference between knowledge and acknowledgment.

"Because we’re all facing good and bad things, even if we all haven’t been victims of apartheid, there is still trauma, there are still things that happen that can cause us pain, and sometimes we can be united by sharing our stories, though there are varying degrees of pain."

After showing the video, Father Lapsley spoke, imparting lessons he has learned with good-natured humor and twice allowing the audience of students and faculty to turn and discuss with their neighbors.

"There's a difference between knowledge and acknowledgement. There are many places in the world where people are crying out for acknowledgement of things that happened long, long ago," said Father Lapsley in his lecture. "Acknowledgement is the first key step on the journey of healing."

The last 15 minutes of the lecture were opened up for discussion. Students and audience members asked questions, both about Father Lapsley's life and his thoughts on specific subjects such as human trafficking and violence.

"What impressed me," said Malinconico, "was not just that he opened it up, but that students responded with a lot of passion--the students themselves led the conversation, and after he closed it, lots of students went up to talk to him about volunteering and internships."

During the discussion, Father Lapsley said, "There needs to be people of moral courage who dare to sing a different tune, against the majority."

These words impressed vocal performance major Emarie Majors, a freshman from Montana. "Father Lapsley's vibrancy in stating that there is a sore need for people of moral courage resonated in me the urge to be more lovingly bold," said Majors. "Plus, we are overwhelmed with the opportunities to sing a different song, so there's no excuse not to."

Both Malinconico and Father Lapsley agreed they were pleased with the turnout, and were happy the Little Theater suited their purposes. Malinconico was able to give Father Lapsley and his guests a small tour of the campus as well as stop by the Visitor's Center, and said that they were all very interested and respectful.

"I’m thankful for the student body and faculty who came out and I look forward to more special lectures in the future," said Malinconico. "There’s no reason why we shouldn’t have one each month. I know there’s more than 12 interesting people out there. And it's not just the faculty’s job--students can initiate things too."

"There is no question," said Sukhbaatar. "My answer would be a big yes. I would love to see more forums such as this here at my school."

Father Michael Lapsley will be giving another open lecture at the Cathedral of St. Andrew in Honolulu on the 18 of Oct. at 6:30 p.m. Uploaded Oct. 16, 2015