A journey of hope and resilience in times of rejection
Rejection has always carried a painful weight for many people. That pain can feel even heavier after experiencing rejection over and over again while still believing that the Lord wants you to continue trying. Repeated disappointment can challenge a person emotionally and spiritually, especially when they feel prompted to keep pursuing the path placed before them.
“After my third attempt of applying [to BYU–Hawaii], I thought the desire would be gone, but no, ” said Redd Gonzaga, a freshman studying hospitality and tourism management from the Philippines. Gonzaga is a big believer in having dreams and that the Lord will put you in a place where you are destined to be, he shared. But in his mind, he said he asked himself, “I have been rejected a couple of times already, why am I still getting these impressions?”
Looking back, Gonzaga said he was just a normal kid in the Philippines, where opportunities were limited and course options at the local community college were limited. "[My ward youth friends and I] became interested in BYUH,” he said, sharing that the desire to study there began through a simple chat and hanging out with friends. Then came the time that all of them served their mission, including Gonzaga; everyone was magnifying their calling to serve, but the small flame of desire for university was in Gonzaga’s heart.
After finishing his mission, Gonzaga said his desire to become a Seasider had started to fade and he was unsure if BYUH was still the right path for him. But conversations with people connected to BYUH, including Jolly Jane Java, a sophomore studying social work from the Philippines, reminded him of his earlier desire, he shared.
It was as if God reminded me where He wants me to be.
Gonzaga’s good friend Java, who was also interested in attending BYUH and was accepted on her first attempt, said she encouraged him through his rejections. “I saw the pain he felt, but as a friend all I could do was encourage him,” she said
Unfortunately, Gonzaga said the rejection did not stop after the first attempt. “The first rejection was okay, I understand. But getting rejected for the second and third, I started to question everything and everyone." He expressed pain as an understatement of what he felt; his self-worth was depleting, yet he remained troubled by persistent impressions of attending BYUH.
Lehia Ishibashi, a sophomore in Hawaiian Studies from Hawaiu, Hawaii, served as a missionary in Gonzaga’s home ward and also witnessed his response to repeated rejections from BYUH. Ishibashi shared he was influenced by Gonzaga’s resiliency when he needed the reminder as a missionary to trust the Lord’s plan and strive to be true to his covenant through difficult times. “He even still shared his testimony when he was very frustrated when he was already rejected twice.”
For Gonzaga, meeting all these people who are tied to BYUH made him think that the reason that he is meant to be in Hawaii as well.
Another of Gonzaga’s good friends, Jared Lopez, applied as many times as Gonzaga, but also kept on falling short. “We got tired; we wanted to give up,” shared Lopez, a freshman in business management from the Philippines. The disappointment was too much for him; he said he started to question his worthiness. But he later realized it was not a matter of worthiness, but of trusting the Lord would open the next door when the time was right.
At one point, Lopez and Gonzaga said they gave up and planned to go to Taiwan instead. While it offered work-study opportunities like BYUH, Gonzaga said, it lacked the spiritual environment they hoped to find at BYUH. But a week before leaving, Lopez received an acceptance letter from BYUH Admissions. The rollercoaster of emotions filled Lopez again—his happiness was at its peak, but it was cut short by concern for his friend Gonzaga.
Gonzaga felt that BYUH was Lopez’s destiny and Taiwan was his, so they parted ways—Lopez leaving for Hawaii and Gonzaga for Taiwan.
It was a difficult time for Gonzaga, and he questioned himself, wondering why he continued to face rejection while his close friends were gradually being accepted.
“I emailed the school. I wanted to know why. I am magnifying my calling; I am keeping myself worthy,” Gonzaga shared. But he said he did not receive the answer he was hoping for. Instead, after multiple rejections, he said he was advised to stop applying and pursue Pathway instead.
Heartbroken but committed to his faith, Gonzaga moved to Taiwan, where he studied and worked while continuing to wrestle with the impression to apply again. Six months later, despite uncertainty and the risk that another rejection could disrupt his schooling and visa, he said he applied for the fourth time—knowing admission to BYUH was his best path forward.
After weeks of waiting and thousands of prayers, an email came in, Gonzaga said. “I was shaking again, but I have a different feeling this time,” he shared. “I got in. I cried. Crying was the only thing I could do at that time,” he continued.
Looking back on the long process, Gonzaga said, “Be hopeful. Hold on and continue to move along with life.” He said losing faith can lead to distractions and encouraged others to “hold onto your faith.”
“And for the students that are already here, remember why you are here. Remember the admission essays that you wrote,” Gonzaga said, adding that they should always remember the promises they made not only to the donors and family, but to themselves.
Always find that reason in your heart. Hold it. And inspire yourself with those, and you will be fine.