Three Brigham Young University–Hawaii alumni share how graduating shaped their understanding of fear, success and the unknown future
Fear of the unknown is a recurring concern among students preparing to graduate, said three alumni across different graduating years. They said uncertainty about careers and direction after graduating are common challenges, but faith, adaptability and persistence, can be used as guiding forces towards success.
Living instead of surviving
Ryan Escabarte, a 2024 alumnus who double majored in psychology and health and human science from the Philippines said so many students focus heavily on planning for their future, they forget to live in the present. “We chase too much achievement but forget to live,” he said.
Escabarte claimed financial pressure and not knowing what comes next took an emotional toll on him after graduation. “The biggest challenge would be filling in the gaps in your life and the plans you set for your life,” he added.
Escabarte said he had a different experience moving forward with life after graduation. “I got married to a US citizen and I was able to do my academic training as I prepared for greater things. But, after all of that, we still didn’t know where to go,” he explained.
In addition to his preparations, Escabarte said he applied to graduate schools and jobs across the United States. Although he got accepted into several schools, he stated financial barriers prevented him from attending. “Money would be the greatest challenge,” he added.
Escabarte said graduates are often too hard on themselves and feel pressured to have their lives figured out immediately. “Being Filipino, in our culture, by a certain age you are expected to have a job or a family, but I realized that people have the power to say no. We have to be achieving for ourselves too, not for others all the time,” he explained.
Escabarte said students should accept fear as a normal part of their lives and focus on self-understanding rather than comparison. “Love yourself. Don’t neglect your needs,” he said. “When you value yourself, you can better serve others and face uncertainty with strength and grace,” he added.
Faith and trust in the Lord
Lei Cummings, the Alumni Relations Manager, said fear after graduation is often shaped by inexperience and uncertainty but can be managed through faith and patience. “I had the same fear that all of our students faced,” she said. “I consistently relied on prayer and faith in making life decisions,” she added.
Cummings said faith and trust in the Lord remained central to her ability to move forward. “There’s going to be scary moments all the time in your life but if you keep going and find something that gives you joy, it will all work out,” she explained.
Cummings said students must continue to pursue plans even when outcomes are unclear. “As long as you keep moving forward and improving your skills, it will all work out in the end,” she continued.
Cummings said career paths are rarely linear. “I was a computer science major, and I ended up with where I am today. After 20 years in that area, the church offered me a job in a different area I never knew about.”
Cummings said age doesn’t eliminate fear, but experience changes how people respond to it. “As you get older, you understand things a little better because you have foresight,” she explained.
Financial independence often surprises young adults after graduation, Cummings added. “Many don’t realize how much things cost to survive.” She said alumni often worry about returning home, especially due to differences in pay and cost of living. “Some don’t want to go home because of the pay differences,” she added. “But everything is relative, right?”
Cummings also reflected on her personal life, including the death of her husband, which shaped her perspective on uncertainty. “My husband passed away 20 years ago and there was uncertainty after that, but I had faith that everything would be okay,” she shared.
Keep moving forward
Terrell Wu, an alumnus from Malaysia who graduated in 2023 with a degree in communication, media, and culture, said success is continued movement and effort, not certainty. “If one is constantly moving forward and is doing something in their lives, that is success,” he explained.
Wu said that uncertainty is a permanent part of life. “Fear of the unknown is something we all have to face regardless. Sometimes we have to do things in life that we don’t really want to do either,” he added.
Wu also said fear of the unknown is something people must learn rather than eliminate. “I have the biggest anxiety of the unknown, and I want to know what’s going to happen and to feel secure in a way,” he continued.
Wu said one of his biggest uncertainties before graduating was gaining work experience. “I figured out my final semester that I wanted to stay in Hawaii to get more experience,” he said. “I looked at a lot of internships everywhere.”
Up for a scholarship after his academic training through BYUH, Wu said he made the decision to leave and go back to Malaysia for his mom. “My mom at the time had kidney cancer, and I didn’t know how long she was going to live,” he said. “I had to make a decision that I prayed for in the temple as well and had a very strong answer to go back to Malaysia,” he continued.
Preparation and mindset are key to managing fear, said Wu. “Regardless of your goals and plans for yourself, you have to prepare to face obstacles because it will give you hope that good things will come,” he added.
Wu said he felt fortunate not to be pressured into having his life fully figured out. “I would say that I am still figuring my life out and I have my goals of what I want to do except it isn’t possible here in Malaysia right now,” he added.
Wu shared how unpredictable the changes in the job market were. “They would say, you will secure a job if you get a degree but maybe that was true 10 years ago. It’s so different now,” he added. He said companies require applicants to have extensive portfolios for the hiring process to move forward.
Wu said age can influence how people view success, but it is not the only factor. “Age is a big factor because a lot of people close to age are already established in life,” he said. “But I also think that age doesn’t play all the way through because it depends on a person’s circumstances and where they are at in life,” he continued.
Wu said he currently works as a medical transcriber. “I write reports for patients who got into accidents to use for court, and I just have to see that everything is written correctly,” he shared.
If one is constantly moving forward and is doing something in their lives, that is success.