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Working to empower women at BYUH

The Women’s Services & Resources continues to provide a safe space for women to be heard

The Women's Sevices & Resources office poses for a photo. From left to right: Elder Spilker, Sister Spilker and Kesais Bourne, their assistant.
Elder and Sister Spilker, the senior couple missionary overseeing the Women's Services & Resources with their assistant, Kesaia Bourne.
Photo by Yui Leung

With more than 175 events conducted and over a thousand hours spent consulting with students since its opening in Spring 2022, the BYU–Hawaii’s Women’s Services & Resources department continues to provide a safe place for women to be heard and empowered, according to its website.

Elder Michael Spilker and Sister Clara Spilker, a senior couple missionary from Alaska overseeing WSR, together with their student assistant, Kesaia Bourne, shared how the department’s activities and workshops help meet the student’s needs and enhance their college experience.

Elder Spilker said, “A team is better than just an individual.” When faced with mental health challenges, homesickness, or difficulty in balancing between school, work and fun, he said students need to know they do not have to be alone and encourage them to reach out to people.

Bourne, a junior majoring in elementary education from New Zealand, emphasized the need for female students to become one. She said, “We’re on the same boat. We’re all trying to be our best versions and are most likely facing issues all women face.”

Bridging the gap

According to the WSR website, its vision and mission is “to provide the female students at BYU–Hawaii with the services and resources that support their intellectual ambitions [and] aid in their physical health, and well-being.” It also states it promotes "positive social opportunities and bolster [student’s] spiritual commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

Tying close to its vision and mission, Elder and Sister Spilker said with the help of their student assistant, they have planned out activities and workshops to teach people about consent, mental health, and being people who stand up and speak out for each other. “We also had art therapies. It’s deeper than just having fun and giving cookies,” shared Kesaia Bourne.

“We do booths weekly [during the Spring Semester]. We tried to build friendships and relationships with the students so they can feel more comfortable with us,” said Bourne. She said they do it consistently to help students know they can come to the WSR office and talk to them.

With years of experience as a school counselor, Sister Spilker said she gained an appreciation for the value of outreach. “I realized very quickly that I cannot do [things] by myself,” she said. “I learned there are many people out there with services and talent who are willing to share and help students,” she explained.

One of the useful resources most students tend to overlook is the WSR website, said Elder Spilker. He said, “There are a lot of information sheets students can explore. ” As reflected on the website, the information sheets are arranged in categories such as education and careers, emotional health, family and parenting, relationship wellness, and others. Spilker continues, “Each one of [those] different categories has a list of information people can utilize.”

It is important for them to know it’s all confidential."

"We don't call up the Office of Honor. We don't call their parents. We don't call the bishop. It’s all between us.
Kesaia Bourne and Sister Clara Spilker

Breaking through barriers

Bourne said cultural diversity is one of the strengths of BYUH, however, it can also be difficult. She said it is important to understand where these students are coming from. “It is important for them to know it’s all confidential,” added Bourne. Sister Spilker added, “We don't call up the Office of Honor. We don't call their parents. We don't call the bishop. It’s all between us."

Some students grew up in cultures where they are told to be strong and not show weakness, especially in the Polynesian and Asian households, said Bourne. Growing up in a Hawaiian and Tongan household, Bourne said she sees the side of “being strong." But she added she is helping "to break down that barrier but not disrespect family values, and letting them know they can get help."

“There are students who have been trying to deal with [their challenges] themselves. You can see the signs, but they don’t tell you they have [mental health challenges],” she said. “We have been trying to reach out to everyone and let them know it’s okay to ask for help,” she said.

Sister Spilker encouraged students to reach out whether it’s with the WSR, their bishop, or a trusted friend. “I don’t know how many times in my life where I have been asking for advice from someone, and when I finish the conversation, I realized I have solved my problems myself,” shared Sister Spilker. She said verbalizing people's thoughts and feelings can give them a whole new perspective.

Elder Spilker also encouraged students to never forget who they are when facing great difficulties. “We can gain strength in ourselves if we just stop and realize who we are – we are children of our Heavenly Father,” he said.