Ke Alaka'i Homepage

Married couples always remember the moment they agreed to marry each other, whether it has been 50 years or two.Usually, this happens when one person formally proposes to the other, but not always.Jarek Buss, a senior in political science from Wyoming, said of his marriage proposal, “She asked me.” He met his wife, Kaylee Buss, a junior in vocal performance from Colorado, “on a Saturday. I knew right away I wanted to marry her, but thought that was crazy. She actually had a boyfriend. We saw each other every day and on the 5th day I asked her ‘what’s our relationships status?’ since she had a boyfriend and everything. She said, ‘I prayed about it and I know I’m not going to marry him. I’m going to marry you.’ And we decided to get married six months later so we could get to know each other. Crazy but amazing. Later, when I got the ring, I asked her on her birthday, but we had already planned the wedding.”Each couple's timeline of meeting, dating and engagement varies, but each story holds a special place in their memory. Sarah Sze Wan, a junior in communications from Hong Kong, became engaged to Carston Feigleson, a junior in supply chain and math from Utah, on Jan. 19, 2015. “We went to Sunset Beach. I thought it was just for relaxing, but then he prepared a picnic and sang songs, like ‘I can’t help falling in love with you.’ Then he kneeled down and proposed.” She had just returned from her mission on Dec. 10, “but all together it’s been two and a half years. I think it’s a good time,” she said. Surprise is often an element of a proposal. Some more than others. Jerry and Sue Harris have been married since June 4, 1969. “In those days, people didn’t really talk about getting engaged or married, so I didn’t know he was going to ask,” said Sue Harris. “We were going to BYU at Provo. We had been dating for a year, and one night, we went to movies and dinner—which we did quite a bit—and afterward we hiked up to the lookout, so we could see the whole city. We were just standing there, talking, when he went down on one knee and asked if he could marry me. I said, ‘Are you sure you really want me to?’ and he said yes so I said yes.”Denali Grawe, a senior in emergency medicine from Texas, and Craig Hatch, a sophomore in biology from Oregon, were engaged on New Year’s Eve at her family’s home in Texas. She said, “Craig went to place the firecrackers on the ground so I could light them, but he kept moving them around so much it was driving me nuts! He grabbed my arm as I was walking away and there was just enough light from inside the house I could see a box! I started losing it and said, ‘No! No! No way! Are you really doing this now!?! Oh my gosh!’ Then I shut up because he started talking. He said something along the line of: ‘You make me happy everyday, and I want to be the one to make you happy each and every day too. Will you marry me?’ and opened the box (that had a light on the inside so I could see it!) He got me so good! Apparently then I said, ‘Are you freaking kidding me!?!’ And then I remembered that I needed to say yes so I wouldn’t give him a heart attack. Ah, man, it was great. I had no idea! None!” Simple proposals can have extra sweetness depending on the location and timing. Mavis Rumble, a recent graduate in business management from Fiji, and Patrick Rumble, a senior in business management from New York, got engaged two days after Mavis returned from her mission. After meeting in 2009 and being reunited after their missions in 2013, Patrick proposed to Mavis at a senior missionary’s house on Laie Point. “It was evening, and we were on the front porch and could hear the waves crashing,” said Mavis. “It was perfect, actually. Something I liked and loved. It was a romantic proposal. He made a photo album of pictures of our experiences together.” The last few pages of the album were blank and he said, “’I want to continue this journey together and fill these pages with you.’” That was Jan. 1, 2013, and they were married June 21, 2013. Uploaded Feb. 12, 2015.

The friend zone is a confusing, yet all-too-common, place single students find themselves in. “The friend zone is a despicable void that, if entered in, becomes a dangerous hole never to be escaped from,” said Craig Campbell, a senior majoring in ICS peacebuilding from Utah. This sentiment is shared by other students who explained their understanding of the friend zone and how to get out of it. Connor Shepard, an undeclared freshman from California, said people are “unwillingly sent” to the friend zone. Campbell said people put their would-be suitors in the friend zone for a couple of different reasons. “One, they are afraid of commitment, and two, they are not interested.” Micah Fegai, an undeclared freshman from Laie, explained the friend zone develops when “one side of the friendship develops feelings, and the other sees it just as a friendship.” Girls are plagued by the friend zone as well, as Natalie DeMartini, a senior majoring in psychology from California, attested. She described the friend zone as, “My life. A constant state I am in.” However, DeMartini said she believes there is a way out. “Take a leap of faith, man up and just do it,” she said.There are ways to get out of this “desolate hole,” according to Shepard, who said being forward and unpredictable can always help. He also suggests “getting a cannon and shooting yourself out of the zone.”Campbell shared another strategy for escaping the friend zone: “Grab that person you love and kiss them on the mouth. That way they can say yes or no.” He went on to say, “Your cards are on the table and it’s up to them to make the choice. You will either enter the relationship or you might not have a friend anymore.”Signs that you are officially out of the friend zone are different for each person. Campbell said when you are “in a relationship or you are no longer their friend,” you are definitely out of the friend zone. Shepard, however, said he believes a sign you have moved out of the zone is something small, like “playing footsies.”Ultimately, Fegai said the opportunity to get out of the friend zone “is do or die; if you don’t, you will never know.”

Ike Smith, an undeclared freshman from Singapore, echoes hundreds, if not thousands of single people, men and women, as they describe their Valentine’s Day plans this year. For singles, Valentine’s Day can turn into a bitter, black-hearted affair, or a chance to retreat into one’s cave and hide from the seeming legions of couples haunting the streets. While there is a stigma for single women that Valentine’s Day must throw them into a severe, 24-hour depression, men seem to go through Valentine’s Day unscathed as bachelors. “Valentine’s Day for the single guy? I can go to the beach and I don’t have to spend any money. It’s just another day,” said Smith. Though a freshman, Smith’s observations about the holiday of love sound similar to senior Cameron Kerr’s feelings. “I think it’s not that big of a deal for guys as it is for girls, obviously. I think that it’s kind of like when you see all your friends dating or getting married when they get back from their missions. It’s kind of an annoying holiday. It seems kind of dumb, but it’s not like I’m going to cry myself to sleep,” said the finance major from California.While describing Valentine’s Day with a significant other, Kerr explained, “It’s fun.” If men don’t seem to have a particularly strong feeling towards Valentine’s Day, it might just be in their nature. It’s not their fault, says Dr. Louann Brizendine, a psychologist and author of “The Female Brain.” A doctor researching women’s psychology, Dr. Brizendine notes men feel an inch and women feel a mile on an emotional spectrum. Hormones and the physical make-up of men’s brains influence this emotional range, making Valentine’s Day, and other events, not as big a deal as it is for women.Men, though less emotional about the holiday, understand the problems facing single people on Valentine’s Day. “You don’t need to find someone to appease a standard,” said William Walter Arnett III, a junior in music performance from Arizona. Half the struggle of Valentine’s Day is the comparison between one’s single self to coupled people, but “Valentine’s Day is not some horrendous moment for me because I’m single,” said Arnett. He reminded the single men and women of Valentine’s Day 2015 that they should be no less happy and are no less wonderful for being single and watching Netflix all day. “Do you really need someone else to be valuable? You’re you. You are valuable. No one should feel bad about Valentine’s Day. It’s just part of life.”

Wedding details come in all shapes and sizes. At BYU-Hawaii, varying traditions are found among married students.“We did the regular stuff you do at weddings, but my husband is Tongan so there was some traditional Tongan dancing,” said Amy Moala, a senior in exercise and sports science from Nevada. Lena Filatova, an undeclared freshman, talked about her home country of Russia sharing some of the marital traditions there. She explained the tradition of kidnapping the bride, where friends of the young couple will take the bride away unawares, demanding a ransom and making the groom find her. It’s all fun and games because when the bride is found, the bride and groom go get a marriage license. Another unique tradition in Russia is that of biting the bread. Before the bride and groom can enter the reception hall, they have to bite the traditional bread (without hands) that had been prepared for them. Whomever takes the bigger bite is said to be the more dominant in the relationship. Filatova also shared the marital practice of the lock (or “jorko,” in Russian). Together, a newlywed couple buys a lock and writes their name on it. “In my hometown there is a bridge for [the couples] to get married and the whole bridge is covered with all these locks. It symbolizes the marriage is going to be forever and you can’t unlock it,” said Filatova. Ethan Tsai, a senior in graphic design from Taiwan, shared some traditions from his recent marriage. One such tradition happens when, before the wedding reception, the groom goes over to the bride’s house to overcome a certain challenge. The bride’s friends ask the groom to complete a challenge, and the groom has to do it to those friends’ expectations. The bride, like the groom, goes over to his house afterward. There, a bucket of water is poured in front of her. Tsai explained, “It’s symbolic of how the girl is married and not ever going to come back.” After this, the couple show their respect and gratitude to both sets of parents by kneeling and bowing their heads. Nowah Afangbedji, a senior biomedical major, shared some of the marriage traditions of his homeland Togo. “My favorite part is usually the engagement or veil part,” he shared.In his tribe, there are usually three parts to marriages. First, you have to knock on the door and the boy comes to say he wants to marry the girl. An appointment is set, which completes the engagement part. One of the girl’s aunties then compiles a list and gives it to the boy of things he needs to get for the dowry. Once everything has been collected, the boy brings it to the family. If everything is there and the family can see that the boy appreciates their daughter, they bring her out along with a couple other girls; the girls are covered from head to toe in a veil with no hints as to who is who, and the boy has to figure out which is the girl he is engaged to. “I haven’t seen anybody mess up before,” Afangbedji laughed. “People could mess up. They will laugh at you and mock you a little bit. But they won’t cancel the marriage.” The third step of the marriage process is the civil marriage, either in a church or located at another sacred site.Uploaded Feb. 12, 2015

In Hawaii and other Pacific Islands, flowers have signified love and beauty for thousands of years, said Dr. Hiagi Wesley, professor of Pacific Island studies. “The people of the Pacific wear flowers behind their ears because it’s a symbol of love.”Flowers, like the Hawaiian plumeria or the Samoan lehua, symbolize love, but the placement of flowers can signify what kind of love you have, or what kind you are looking for. “The joke is if you wear it on the left, you are taken. If you wear it on the right, you are available,” laughed Dr. Wesley. “While I don’t know when that started, wearing flowers has been part of Pacific Island culture forever,” said Wesley.The significance of the left ear might have something to do with putting the wedding or engagement ring on the left hand, said Pearl Tuiasosopo, a sophomore in political science from American Samoa. Flowers don’t just suggest a relationship status, but a connection with nature that has been going on for thousands of years. ICS Anthropology Professor Tevita Kaili said this connection of the Pacific Island people through nature runs deeper than just hair accessories. “All of our attire comes from nature,” continued Kaili. “Tapa comes from a plant from nature, flower comes from a plant from nature, and if you use feathers, it comes from a bird from nature. It’s about us living close to nature. Everything comes from it.” Wesley nodded as he counseled, “So if you want to add on to your beauty, you add on a piece of nature. You don’t add Chanel, you don’t have Paris Hilton to use; you have flowers.”Nature and products of nature will only enhance your beauty this Valentine’s Day, ladies. Though Dr. Wesely did note that men can wear flowers too, if they want. While Valentine’s Day can create anxiety for some on what to wear, others worry about what gift to get their significant other. Dr. Wesley and Dr. Kaili suggested a solution: “You see the islands full of beautiful flowers? Jewelry is not part of the culture. You have flowers as women’s adornment to make them look pretty.” Not only are flowers beautiful, but also they are free.Uploaded February 12, 2015

Career Connect exposes students to opportunities after college, and, during a recent trip to Salt Lake City, students had the opportunity to meet with potential employers and make connections for the future.Harris Leafa, a senior in graphic design from Samoa, said, “The trip was well worth it. My wife and I didn’t find jobs, but that’s because we don’t graduate until April. Those who graduate in December get priority for jobs, however, we were able to make a lot of great connections.”The students’ schedule was rigorous during career connect. Jaden Leafa, Harris’ wife and a senior in social work from Utah, said, “It was ‘go-go-go’ the entire trip. It does get a little exhausting by the end.”According to the BYU Hawaii’s career connect website, a student would “spend three intense days in [his/her] preferred city with a group of BYU Hawaii students & faculty, visiting companies and organizations, attending industry information sessions, establishing contacts with potential employers, learning from local members what it’s like to live and work in these locations and, in some cases, being able to arrange interviews.”Among the companies visited were NuSkin, Goldman Sachs, Zions National Bank, and Adobe. Harris Leafa, added, “A lot of companies we visited were owned by church members. I thought it was really cool that those members based their companies values off of church values.”For some students, Career Connect was an opportunity to analyze their projected career path and change their majors. Homer Wolman, a senior in marketing from Colorado, said, “Career Connect was a great experience in that it helped me change my career plans. I got an inside look at a lot of different companies, and it actually helped me realize that I didn’t want to pursue a career in my current major.” Wolman said he would now like to pursue a master’s degree in urban planning.The next Career Connect trips will be going to: Salt Lake City, Fiji, New Zealand, and Taiwan. To apply to go on a career connect trip, contact Career Services and fill out an application. Visit http://career.byuh.edu/content/career-connect for more information.Uploaded Feb. 6, 2015

Tension rises with the death toll in Eastern Ukraine, and BYU-Hawaii students expressed their remorse. Friday, Jan. 12, the Ukrainian city of Donetsk fell under fire, leaving 12 people dead, according to CNN.The attack, considered a shelling, is believed to be a result of the escalated conflict between the Ukrainian military and pro-Russian separatists. The fighting between the two groups has been largely concentrated in the outer areas of the city, but the blasts have reached the hospital and elementary school, said AP.“It’s sad to see two parties causing harm to each other,” said James Magee, a sophomore from Maryland studying information technology. “I think more peace needs to be made.”The shelling did not stop there. Four more people were killed on Sunday, Feb. 1, making the injury count more than 20 in the past 24 hours, according to RT News (a Russian news center directed toward audiences outside of the Russian Federation).Although it is not for certain who is responsible for the attacks, each side has blamed the other.“Overnight, the Ukrainian troops fired about 30 barrages. The night shelling injured 14 civilians,” said Eduard Basurin to RT. Basurin serves as the deputy defense minister in the Donetsk People’s Republic.RT News also reported that clashes between Kiev loyalists and militia forces are continuing in the front lines. Kiev reported losing 13 soldiers within one day.“It’s sad to see so many people dying over a civil war,” said Benjamin Holbrook, a sophomore from California studying Pacific Island studies. “It just shows that history does end up repeating itself.”The violence prompted local authorities to keep all schools closed until Wednesday, Feb. 4.The New York Times reports Gen. Philip M. Breedlove, NATO’s military commander, “now supports providing defensive weapons and equipment to Kiev’s beleaguered forces,” stating that more and more administration officials are coming to the same conclusion.However, no move from President Obama has suggested putting this support into action.The United Nations has estimated that the civil war in Eastern Ukraine has claimed 5,000 lives since April 2014, when residents in the Donetsk and Lugansk regions of Ukraine began to take actions into their own hands against a coup-imposed government in Kiev. “It’s too bad this is happening,” said Justin Cardiff, a senior from Georgia studying business finance. “I think the situation is much bigger than just Ukraine. It’s unfortunate this can’t be solved peacefully.”Uploaded Feb 5. 2015

BYU-Hawaii Security announced 85 percent of stolen items have been returned to their owners due to added security measures. Chris Patenaude, a junior business management major from Washington, D.C., said Security found his moped. “I thought it was a lost cause to file a missing report but Security surprised me.”McKinzie Norton, a sophomore in graphic design from Kansas, is another student who has benefited from the change. She said, “Out of all the things to lose, I lost my wallet. Thankfully, after two days Security found it. Only $5 were missing. Not too bad. I’m glad [Security] was there to help me out.”The Campus Security mission statement outlines how Security employees should conduct themselves, and their dedication to the campus: “We exist to provide optimum security services to our university, community, and friends. BYUH welcomes all that would honor our standards and respect our principles and resources.”It continues, “The primary responsibility for safety and security lies with each of us individually. You can help by learning how to protect yourself, personal and school property.”Students said they appreciate Security’s help. “I’ve never had a problem with Security here, but I have always heard people complaining about Security flaws,” said Rebecca Weniger, an undeclared freshman from Ohio. "But then last week, my roommate’s bike was stolen and she got it back pretty quickly. A good image is sure to build for Security nowadays.”Tyler Gago-Kaka, part-time shift supervisor for Security, said with the new Head of Security, Earl “Torch” Morris, the department has an improved way of handling situations on campus. He stated, “For safety reasons, when you’re going against oncoming traffic, the officers let you know you can’t ride the wrong way in the big and little circles or the sidewalk. It is protecting you and those around you.”Security officers stated their main focus is the well-being of the students, faculty and staff. However, to maintain a safe and secure environment, the full support and cooperation of the university and community is required. They further emphasized the security of university lies with each person, no matter how effective the school’s programs may be.Uploaded Feb 5, 2015